


A Christmas Story

by Carol_fan82



Category: Carol (2015), The Price of Salt - Patricia Highsmith
Genre: Canon Universe, F/F, Modern Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-19 05:02:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 31,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29745405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carol_fan82/pseuds/Carol_fan82
Summary: A story told at Christmas about a whirlwind romance also set during Christmas. What's the relationship of the main characters of this romance story to this family?
Relationships: Carol Aird & Therese Belivet, Carol Aird/Therese Belivet
Comments: 194
Kudos: 56





	1. The Story

**Author's Note:**

> Came into some recent inspiration. Also, this is set in a non-Covid-19 world.

Stepping out of the restaurant after a Christmas lunch with colleagues and a glass of wine in, I feel warm and buzzy. Dressed warmly with a nice pair of heeled boots, dressy dark jeans, a nice knit sweater, pashmina scarf wrapped around my neck and a charcoal grey long wool coat.

I think to myself, _It’s time to go meet up with the family for Christmas Eve dinner. I need to make it to Mom’s._

Looking over to see the entrance to the train station, I begin my walk towards it.

_Mom should really consider moving back into the city. So much easier._

The snow starts to fall.  I feel the first of many snowflakes land on my nose and melt away due to my warmth. Before long I start feeling the soft snowflakes settling on my hair and wetting it as it melts.

_Finally, a white Christmas._

I hike up my purse so it settles better on my shoulder. Feeling the wind now that I start walking down the street, I reach up with one hand to close the gap in my wool coat by my neck, while shoving the other hand into my coat pocket for warmth.

Walking swiftly to the trains I make an immediate right to head towards my platform. It’s somewhat quieter since most people likely took the week off.Regardless if there’s less people, the train will always leave on time. Hustling to catch the next train out, I hear my heels clicking rapidly as I walk.I rush to the platform and fling my body through the closing train doors.

_Just made it!_

Looking around at the fluorescent lit train and worn but vintage upholstery on the train seats, I go to sit.

_Ew, I don’t even what to know where that stain came from. Might as well pick a better seat since I get my choice._

I look down a couple rows to a nicely spaced and lit part of the train. I walk towards that section, check the seat for anything weird and then sit.

As I sit, I pull out my phone and type out a text.

  * I’m on the train now. I’ll grab an Uber when I get to the station. Don’t come pick me up. 



As soon as the text is sent, I get a notification that I have received a text.

  * Sure. See you soon Sweetie.



Satisfied with the text, I pull out my AirPods, put them in my ears and pull up my playlist.Closing my eyes, I settle into a relaxed state as I ride to the last stop of the train.

Before I know it, the train has stopped and I know it's time to depart. Opening my eyes, I take out my AirPods, pull out my phone and flip to the Uber app.

I open the app and select the destination “Mom’s home”. I head outside almost immediately as my app indicates there’s a nearby car that will be arriving shortly.

Seeing the license plate matching what’s on the app, I walk out, open the door and get in. According to my app, the driver’s name is “Susan”.

“Hello.” The Uber driver greets me.

“Hi Susan.How are you?”

“Good thank you. Heading to a family party?” She asks politely.

“Just to my mom’s for Christmas Eve dinner. Are you working all evening tonight?” 

“You’re actually my last ride.I’m calling it a night after this trip for Christmas Eve as well.”

Susan turns the Christmas music up a little bit, likely wanting to get into the festivities and probably not interested in the small talk that typically could occur during these trips.

I take my cue and not continue the conversation.The snow is starting to dust the roads as Susan drives me to my mother’s home for Christmas.My father was out of the picture for quite a while now and it’s been just me and my mom for as long as I can remember. My dad was a Marine and died during his service in the early years of my life. Oh and of course Grandma!In her day, she was definitely a looker. Beautiful blue grey eyes.She has a certain grace about her that I could never find in anyone else. 

Susan finally pulls into the driveway of the large mansion in Jersey.She then stops before the front door. 

“Thank you for the ride Susan. And Merry Christmas.” I say as I step out of her car.

“Merry Christmas,” she responds politely as I close the car door.

I head towards the main doors and ring the doorbell. The giant doors swing open.

“Merry Christmas Sweet Pea!” My grandmother pulls me into a tight hug.

“Merry Christmas Grandma!”

“I missed you so much. I feel like it’s been years since I’ve seen you.” She pulls back to look at me. “You’ve grown so much. What a smart, successful, and beautiful young woman you’ve grown into.”

“And yet you still call me ‘sweet pea’ Grandma!” I say with a loud chuckle.

Grandma drops her head back and gives a loud hooting laugh. “You’ll always be my little sweet pea.” She says in her teasing voice.  She looks behind me, "Where's Kevin?"

I start to take my jacket off when my phone vibrates.I pull it out and see “Kevin” flashing on the screen.I click “Decline.”

I was seeing Kevin for a few years, 3 years and some odd months to be exact. It just wasn’t working out.I work at an investment firm. He is currently in his first year of residency for his internal medicine program.We are both obviously very busy, but there is something more than that.We weren’t connecting on a romantic level anymore. 

Perhaps it just fizzled out. Perhaps we are just too busy to maintain any relationship. Perhaps it just wasn’t meant to be. 

_So much for love._

“You look down Dear. Is everything ok?” Grandma’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

I looked at her and a little disappointed I wasn’t able to hold onto my 3 year relationship, I start to look down and shuffle a little bit with my feet. “I broke up with my boyfriend.” 

“Oh Darling,” Grandma says comfortingly and pulls me into another hug.

“I thought we would get married at one point in the future. It took us forever in undergrad to even get to the point of dating. And then it fizzled out I guess.”

Grandma takes my hand, looks at me, and gives it a couple of pats.“It changes. Nobody’s fault.”

She takes my jacket to hang it in the coat closet.“You’ll meet someone that’s more of a fit for you. I’m certain of it. Such a wonderful young woman you are. Lots of life to live Dear.”

Once the jacket is hung and the closet closed, I walk to her and link arms with my grandmother, “I always dreamed of love at first sight.” And then I glance up to the ceiling and say wistfully, “Happily ever after.”

I turn to look at my grandmother. “Does that even happen? Or is that all in movies?”

My grandmother’s eyes start to twinkle in that mischievous way that tells me, she’s about to call me out on what I just implied.

“Well…do you want to hear a story about a Christmas romance? It’s quite the whirlwind!”

I give a loud laugh.“Grandma, are you going to tell me about your story?”

With that same twinkle, she starts leading me into the living area.“Let’s just say, it’s a story that’s very dear and close to my heart.”

We walk by the kitchen and I spot my mom preparing Christmas dinner.

“Hi Mom! Do you need any help?”

“Hi Sweetie!” She shouts as she’s pulling out the green bean casserole to check. Mom looks up to see Grandma and I.With a laugh mom says, “Oh, I believe Grandma has a story for you if her eyes are any indication.You go enjoy Grandma’s story.I’m just wrapping up in here anyways.I’ll call you two when dinner is ready.”

“Ok Mom.”

Walking with my grandmother, we finally sit on the couch by the fireplace.Turning to her, with a hint of excitement because I feel like this is likely going to be a good story. “I’m ready. Let’s hear this whirlwind romance story Grandma.”

I become a little curious, “Is this based on a true story?”

She gives me an indulgent laugh.“Oh Darling, this is most definitely a true story.” And then with a wink she adds, “I have the journals to prove it too!”

And so Grandma settles into a comfortable position and she begins. 

“It was the day before the real Christmas rush for Christmas gifts at Frankenberg's. Christmas of 1952. Everyone that waited to do their Christmas shopping would be doing it that next day.”

************

**Journal Entry:**

Bright Betsy.Apparently the doll cries and wets herself.I will need to get this for Rindy!

Rindy came back from kindergarten today and talked about it all afternoon. The new doll that all of the little girls in her class wanted. 

I love the eyes of a child. How it is so pure. Open to everything the world has to offer. No fear. No heartache. Ready to face the world with no judgements or bias. 

The way her eyes twinkle with mischief when she hears something interesting and fun...she grabs onto it. 

I don’t know what I’m doing.I have no clue.All I know is that I want the best for Rindy.I just want to make sure she’s happy, healthy, and feels loved.

The back and forth between Harge and I, it can’t be good for her. But...I just know I can’t continue to live this lie with Harge anymore. I hope one day Rindy will understand why I filed for divorce.

Harge is still upset over the divorce and what happened with Abby. 

I feel so stupid now. I probably shouldn’t have told him. In hindsight, I regret it.We had already agreed to divorce. It wasn’t because of Abby that I took this step.Divorcing was for me. He now thinks I left him to be with Abby. But that’s not the case.Her and I ended long before him and I.

Anyways, I hate holiday shopping, but I need to make the trip into the city to Frankenberg's to get that doll for Rindy.My little girl whom I love so much and would do anything for. 

I’ll be back tomorrow to write about my adventures into the city.I’m sure I’ll have a lot say. If nothing else, I’ll fill these pages with venting from the frustrations of city driving.

************

Grandma seems to be deep in thought and eyes glistening a little.

I reach out to touch her hand and give it a little squeeze. “Grandma? Are you ok?”

My grandmother shakes her head and looks at me with a sad smile, eyes still glistening, “Yes Dear. I was just remembering something.”

“It’s ok Grandma, if you don’t feel like telling me this story or if it’s too sad for you...”

She quickly interrupts me. “No no Dear. I was just remembering a journal entry related to that day before the fateful Frankenberg's meeting.”

“Fateful?”

“You could call it ‘love at first sight’. But truthfully, the two women likely didn’t know it was love.”

“Women?” I ask curiously.

Grandma chuckles.“Yes, Darling. Women."

“Do I know them?”

“We will get there sweet pea.But to start, let's name the first woman...’Carol’.”

I laugh.Of course she would name a character in her story Carol.“Carol…and…” I try to prompt.

Grandma chuckles and says teasingly,“What kind of story-teller would I be if I revealed everything too soon?”

I laugh at Grandma’s playfulness.I wonder if she had always been this playful. 

“Where was I?" Grandma's trying to remember where she left off.

"Christmas time 1952. Shopping at Frankenberg."

"Oh yes yes. Carol had to go buy a doll for her daughter, Rindy.So the day before, she was preparing for her trip into the city to stop by Frankenberg's. She had to mentally prepare because she hated driving into the city.She’s not a fan of city traffic.”

Just then, Mom pops her head into the living room. “Ladies, dinner is now ready. Come on in and we can continue with story time after dinner.”

Grandma leans over and whispers loudly, “Let’s go in before she sticks us with only the green beans!”

I laugh at my grandmother. 

“Let’s go Grandma.” I tug on her arm and lead her to the dining room after my mom.


	2. The Meeting

Grandma takes her position at the head of the table. Mom on one side of my grandmother and me on the other side of her at this massive dining table.

We normally have a few close family friends join us for Christmas Eve, but it’s a little quieter this year. And of course my ex-boyfriend isn’t here as well this year.

“Who’s cutting the turkey this year?” Mom asks holding up the carver.

“I’ll do it.” Grandma offers. She takes the offered carver and gets to work. She expertly carves our small turkey.

“Where did you learn to carve so well Grandma?”

I look at this amazing turkey that I can’t wait to dig into, as my grandmother cuts the slices of turkey breast.You literally see the juices dripping out of the turkey.

“Well my mother taught me. And I taught your mom.Besides, when your turkey is always moist, it makes my cutting appear to be more skilled."

“So most important tip, sweetie, that Grandma will say, is to make sure your turkey isn’t dry. That’s why we brine the turkey overnight. That’s what my grandmother always said as well.”

“One day your mother will teach you. Maybe next year you can do the honours, darling. What you do you think? Come in a day earlier to help with the preparations from beginning to end?"

“I’d love that Grandma.”

My mom turns to Grandma, “Mom, I think that’s enough for us.I can do the rest after dinner to pack it up.”

“Ok darling.” Grandma puts the carver down and starts to serve us the turkey.

We then pass around the sides and toast to another wonderful year that has passed and of course to family.

“So sweetie, how are you enjoying Grandma’s story so far?” She then turns to my grandmother “Which one is this Mom?”

“It’s the Christmas story, darling. We didn’t get far though before dinner was ready.”

“Grandma told me it to…I don’t know, I guess encourage me to still believe in love at first sight?”And then I remember why she even brought up the story. A little depressed suddenly. “I broke up with Kevin.” I share with my mom.

“Oh honey. I’m so sorry to hear that.” She reaches out to take my hand.

“It’s ok Mom. I think we just had different priorities, both of us. And clearly our relationship was nowhere near the top for either of us.”

My mom looks at me with encouragement, and offers, “Sweetie, don’t lose hope. You’re still so young and will meet so many people.”

My mom looks over to Grandma and chuckles.“And Grandma’s story will definitely be encouraging if you want to believe in ‘love at first sight’.”

We continue through dinner with mostly conversations to catch up.Grandma and Mom telling me what they’ve been up to and me talking about work and what I’ve been doing.

I’m so busy with work these days that I don’t get much of a chance to visit with them outside of holidays with long weekends. It’s unfortunate that they won’t move into the city.

We finish up with dinner.

“That was delicious,” I say after swallowing my last bite.“I’m so full now!”

“Me too!” Grandma agrees.She turns to my mom, “Darling, that was wonderful. Thank you for such a delicious dinner.”

“You know I love making our meals Mom. And I’m glad it was a hit!” My mom adds playfully, “And I learned from the best!” winking in my direction.

“Of course you did dear!” Grandma quickly agrees.

“Why don’t you two go back to the living room and get more of that story out,” Mom says and then turns to me, “I suspect at the rate your grandmother tells this story, you won’t get through it in one sitting.” She chuckles. “I’ll clean this up. You two go.”

Grandma stands up, turns to my mom and gives her a kiss on the head. She grabs my hand and leads me back to the couch to continue her story.

As we start walking, Grandma continues, “So the next day, Carol goes to Frankenberg’s. She enters the building, rides the elevators up to the toy department and exits. Right near the elevators a toy train set catches her eye, so she goes up to it for a closer look.”

“But she’s looking for a doll isn’t she?”

“Yes, Bright Betsy is the doll. But the train set was so captivating that she stopped by it first. And lucky she did. As she was looking at the set, her coat accidentally hits the switch and the train stop working. So she begins to look around for an employee to assist her.”

Grandma pauses. She smiles softly at whatever has just entered her mind. She looks at me with this reminiscent gaze and continues. “That’s when she sees her.This shop girl behind the counter in the doll section. The girl was looking straight at her and their gaze lock.”

“Love at first sight?” I ask excitedly as I think we’ve gotten to the climax of the story. 

_I wonder why Mom said it would take a while. We got here pretty quick!_

************

**Journal Entry:**

The traffic was of course terrible getting into the city.I finally found parking and head up to the toy department.

It was odd. I don’t know why I was drawn to this train set. In any case, it caught my eye walking out of the elevators, so I just went there to have a closer look.

Lucky I did. My coat accidentally hit the switch to turn off the train and as I looked around for help my breath catches.

I actually had to ask myself if that shock I felt was from the static caused by my fur coat or was it from the gaze from this shopgirl across the toy department.

I lock gaze with this beautiful brunette. Even so, I couldn’t tell the colour of her eyes. We keep our gazes on each other for what seems like a split second before a customer interrupts us.

I felt as if I had no control over myself, as if her and I were magnets, I was suddenly drawn to her. I found myself nearing closer to her and her counter.

She’s on the doll counter.I need to get Bright Betsy for Rindy. It makes sense for me to approach her for help.

I know I'm justifying why I was continuing to inch closer to her. 

Although I did have the wherewithal to try and appear as if I wasn't purposefully coming for her. I walked around the area for a little bit with my eye on the counter.

The girl - no young woman - looks in the direction of the train set and looks a little disappointed. She pouts a little. And even that I found endearing. Suddenly she is crouched down. I can’t quite see what she’s doing down there, other than the ridiculous santa hat on her head. 

She’s not busy helping anyone right now.I tell myself this is my chance and I approached the counter.

But she doesn’t look up.

So I decided to drop my gloves on the counter somewhat loudly to draw her attention.

She looks up at me. A light blush dust over her cheeks.

Her eyes...Her dimples...Her blush.

Green! Her eyes are so green. So bright. So beautiful.

She’s so captivating.

I asked her about the doll as casually and nonchalantly as I can muster - to seem natural.She knows exactly what I’m looking for but then looks apologetically as she says they are sold out.

I must have looked disappointed because she quickly tries to come up with other options for me. She was so adorable. Trying so hard to help me find something for Rindy.

I leaned in - just wanting to be closer to her. Attraction really is like physics, bouncing off each other like pin balls. 

And I feel it from her too, if her perpetual blush was any indication. 

I decided to learn more about her and asked what she wanted as a child. She said a train set and proceeded to launch into the details of the train set I passed by when I first came in.She was so enthusiastic about it.

Of course, completely bewitched by this green-eyed beauty, I walked out of that store with an order receipt for a toy train set for Rindy.

I trust her suggestion and part of me likely wanted to get something that’ll remind me of this beautiful woman.

Wanting to prolong my interaction with her as much as possible, I started talking to her about Christmas.

I must have had some pent up frustrations because I use this time to vent a little about Jennifer, Harge’s mother.

I NEVER have a dry turkey. Jennifer always said it was dry. Unless she wanted to pour broth on the turkey, HOW can it be dry when you cut into it and the juices are dripping onto the plate. She just never liked me.

Anyways, I completed the order form with my address and turned it back to the young woman.

When I look up, I find her just observing me with her large green eyes. Clearly she’s taking me in, but it doesn’t even look like she realizes how blatant she is being. Oh how it is to be young like that.

Wanting to continue this facade of the mysterious and confident woman, I thank her as I turn away from the counter in a swift motion and walked away.

But something bubbled within me as our distance grew. I knew I had to turn back. Just once more, to see her once more and somehow keep that image of her in my mind.

Feeling flirty and suddenly bold, I turn back, gave her a once over, point to my head, and said "I like your hat".The smile and slight blush that I was rewarded with was worth all the confidence that it cost me.

With that, I turned once more on my heels and walked towards the elevators.

Walking out of the building towards my car, I had a permanent smile on my face that lasted until well after I got back home and carried on my day.

************

Grandma’s smile grows from a small smile to a full grin.“Well. I think in hindsight it was likely love at first sight.”

“I think there was a sense of captivation, intrigue, and at a minimum, interest. But at the time, the women likely didn’t know it was love.”

“So what happened? Did Carol talk to her?”

“Well…” Grandma pauses dramatically and leans in closer, almost like she was telling me a secret. “She came up to the doll counter, and draws the shop girl’s attention by dropping her gloves on the counter.The girl looks up and Carol asks about Bright Betsy.”

Shaking her head and chuckling lightly. “Of course it was sold out. That’s what happens when you shop for gifts last minute.”

“NO! The doll was sold out? Grandma, last minute shopping? Are you sure this isn’t your story? Sounds just like you! You always shop last minute because you hate the Christmas rush.”

“Hush! Now listen. There’s more!”

I laugh. “Ok, sorry Grandma. Please continue.”

“Well the shopgirl…no I should say ‘young woman at the counter’, offered other dolls and finally settles on something that she actually loved as a child…a toy train set.So of course Carol has to order the train set. Carol completes the order form with her home address for delivery and turns to leave.Feeling flirty…Carol looks back at the young woman, gives her a once over, and compliments her santa hat.” 

I laugh. “That must have been amazing. Flirting back in the 50’s! I like this ‘Carol’!”

Grandma laughs and hugs me.“I hope so!”

And then she stretches and gives a light yawn.That’s when my mom comes in and places a hand on Grandma’s shoulder, looking over at me.

“Grandma’s getting tired. Let’s let her get some rest sweetie.We can get more of the story tomorrow morning before you go back to the city for work. I’ll pack some food for you to take back.”

She looks over to Grandma, “Mom, you should really get some rest. Lots of time to get more of the story out tomorrow.” Grandma gets up along with me and gives my mom a hug and kiss on the forehead. Turns to me and hugs me tight with a kiss to the forehead as well.

“Good night my two favourite girls in the world. I’ll see you both tomorrow morning.”

With that, she starts to head out of the room towards the stairs. But she suddenly turns to look at me and points to her head, “I like your hat.” She then continues on her way and we can hear her say, "Just like that!"

I turn to my mom laughing and figuring she would have heard this story already. “Mom, how does the story end? I’m sure the women end up together right? Otherwise this wouldn’t be a ‘love at first sight’ story.”

“Take away your grandmother’s joy in telling you this story? I think NOT!” My mom chuckles. "But you, young lady, need to sleep too.”

Mom leans in and kisses me on the cheek. “Goodnight sweetheart.”

“Night mom.”

And I head up for bed as well.


	3. The Gloves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrote this with the last one. For some reason it flowed together when I started writing, but thought dividing it up made better sense. Anyways didn't get a chance to edit until just now. Hope you enjoy!

Stretching out and releasing a huge yawn, I notice the sun coming in through the windows.

It’s Christmas morning.

It's funny how Christmas morning is totally different now being 23 years old versus when I was 5 years old. At 5 years old I would get up really early to run downstairs and rip open my presents. Now at 23, I would rather just sleep in.

I roll over to my side to pick up my phone from the night table closest to me.It’s stuck to the charging cord, so I tug at it a few times, not wanting to sit up, but would rather disconnect my phone to check it in the comfort of my bed.

After a couple of taps, I see that it is only 9:15am. 

_Maybe I’ll lounge around for a bit._

Then I hear my mom and grandmother. I can’t make out what they’re saying, but the muffled sounds signal that they’re up.

_Maybe I’ll just get up to spend some more time with them. I don’t spend enough time with them these days._

After today, I likely won’t be back before Easter weekend. With that, I roll out of bed and head to the bathroom to brush my teeth, freshen up a little bit before heading down in my pj’s to greet my mom and grandmother.

I walk into the kitchen and see them on their stools leaning over the breakfast bar.“Morning Grandma!” I walk up and give her a kiss on the cheek. I look over to my mom. “Morning Mom!”

“Morning sweetheart, do you want a cup of coffee? I made some banana pancakes. I can fix you up a plate.”  
  
“Thanks Mom! I’d love a plate and I’ll just grab a mug for my coffee.”

I walk by my mom to get the mug and give her a kiss on the cheek. “I love being home and being spoiled!”

My mom and grandmother laugh at that.“Well then you should come home more often, sweetheart!” My mom retorts.

“I wish Mom! It’s just so exhausting doing the commute. That’s why I literally live next to work.”

“Sweetheart. You work too hard.”

“I know Mom. I know.It’s only right now because I’m new. I’m sure things will settle down after a few years.”

“Ok sweetheart. Just remember, life isn’t just work.”

“Love you Mom.” I know my mom only cares, which is why she is constantly trying to remind me to ease up on work. But it’s hard.

“Shall we open gifts?” I suggested.

Grandma went to get the gifts under the tree and in my haste last evening from Grandma rushing me in, I forgot to put my gifts for them under the tree.

“I’ll be right back. It’s in my purse.” I grab my purse from the table in the foyer and pull out two envelopes.

Grandma hands me two gifts. I open up the gift from my mom first. It’s an old canon camera. 

“Mom. Isn’t this your first camera?” 

“Yes. I know photography is only a hobby for you, but I would still like you to have this.” At this mom looks off to the distance, at nothing in particular. 

She starts to tear up a bit and quietly says, “I learned how to take photographs with this camera. I took my first photos on it.” 

Grandma reaches over and squeezes Mom’s hand.

Seeing that exchange, makes me cradle that camera a little more carefully.I look at my mom and express gratefully, “Thanks Mom.I’ll keep this camera safe.”

Mom smiles at me.

Then I go to open Grandma’s gift. “A key?” I ask curiously.“What does it open?”

“This key opens the door in the basement where we keep all of our keepsakes. All three of us now have a key.” Grandma says matter of factly. 

“I’ll have to check out that room sometime then…who knows what other secrets live in there,” I say teasingly.

“Darling…if you actually had time, I would buy that line.” Grandma retorts with a smirk.

Mom and I laugh out loud at this. “Touché,” I say.

“Ok, it’s my turn.” Mom opens up her gift from Grandma.“An InstaPot. Mom is this a sign you’d like me to cook quicker?” My mother laughs.

“You read my mind Sweetheart!” Grandma laughs.

Grandma opens up her gift from my mom. “A pair of leather gloves?”

“Yes, Mom. I can’t believe I accidentally ruined the pair downstairs.I know it can’t make up for it, but hopefully…” she trails off.

“Oh sweet pea.It’s ok.Obviously, it would have been nice to still have the gloves, but it’s just a material thing. It’s meaning is with us so don’t worry sweetheart. And thank you. Every time I wear these, I'll think of you.”

Grandma goes to my mom and kisses her on the cheek. She goes back to her seat.

Not entirely sure what was going on and why mom felt so terrible about ruining a pair of leather gloves.I decide to move on with the opening of gifts. I pass out my envelopes to both my mom and my grandmother.

Grandma opens hers first and she reads out the title of the musical on the tickets, “Piaf/Dietrich - A Legendary Affair…And…what is this?”

“It’s a PIN for the iTunes store. It’s to access the soundtrack for that musical.You always enjoy the classics. Plus this soundtrack has the original version of the songs and the version from the musical.”

“This is such a lovely gesture. Thank you sweetie!” She hugs and kisses me.

It was my mom’s turn. She’s so hard to shop for.So I ended up settling on…Mom reads out loud her gift. “A season of paint night.”

“You’re a photographer, Mom. There’s nothing I can get you in that category,” I admit.“But, I stayed with the creative theme and thought you might enjoy it.”

“Thank you, sweetheart.” Mom smiles at me. “I love it.”

Now onto more important things. My eyes narrow, and I turn to my grandmother.

“Grandma?”

“What is it sweet pea?”

“So what happened after that encounter at the toy department?” I ask her curiously.

She chuckles. “Ah yes. The story.”

She pats the seat next to hear and I happily take it.

“Well…Remember how Carol had placed her gloves on the counter? It turns out that she had left them behind.”

I lift an eyebrow suspiciously. “Wait…on purpose or by accident?”

Grandma pretends to be offended.

I raise my hands up as if to surrender. "I just want to clarify."

Grandma laughs. “That apparently has been the debate. I always say, it was by accident because being so smitten with the young woman, it’s easy to see how you can just forget things.”

“I don’t know grandma…” I trail off a bit, still very suspicious. “It’s very suspect.”

“Well we all have our opinions!” She laughs. “Anyways, whatever the reason, the the young woman mails the gloves back to Carol. However, she signed the card that accompanies it as Employee 645-A instead of her name."

************

**Journal Entry:**

Nothing much happened earlier in the day. I spent the morning preparing Rindy for school. Then when Rindy came home, I started to prepare her for when Harge was supposed to pick her up for skating.We were still brushing her hair when Harge arrived with the mail in hand and tossed it on the bed.

It wasn’t until Harge leaves with Rindy that I start going through the mail.

I notice right away a package that came along with the mail and opened it. 

My gloves!

I didn’t even remember leaving it behind. Or did I do it on purpose? On some subconscious level? Maybe...

It must be the beautiful young woman.I can’t imagine it being someone else. I can’t tell for certain the sender since the accompanying card was signed from “Employee 645-A.”

I guess it could be the guy in the ski department as well…both would have my address. I left my address for the delivery of those items.

But the penmanship screams that a woman wrote this.

Somehow, deep down, I really feel like it’s her. 

But why did she return the gloves? Why not sign her name? What should I do? Should I thank her? Should I go back the store.

I have to admit, I didn’t really think about her until I saw the gloves. It was a fleeting feeling when I first laid eyes on her. I just assumed I wouldn’t see her again. That’s mostly why I had turned back around for one more look and flirted.

But now…

What am I doing? What am I feeling.

My heart rate had picked up and literally felt like it was about to beat its way out of my chest as soon as I recognized my gloves.

Then I felt the heat rise to my face when I read the greeting card from Frankenberg’s signed by Employee 645-A.

Should I reach out to her? I just know it’s her. But if I do…what do I say? What is it that I want? Do I want anything with her? If I don’t want anything with her, then…why start? What am I starting?

All of these questions rifle through my mind.

************

“There’s no way that would fly now Grandma!”

“Well, the ’50’s certainly isn’t now, dear.”

“That’s very stalker-ish no? Like you place it in the lost and found or something for the person to return.”

Then I pause and think about how things happen today.

“Well…I guess these days people stalk digitally, like through Facebook and Twitter. I guess it’s all pretty similar at the end of the day.”

“Of course dear.” Grandma laughs. “Although I wouldn’t call it ‘stalking’ exactly.” 

Knitting her eyebrows, Grandma pauses to think.

“I think it was more of an ‘invitation to act’ on the young woman’s part.The gloves was a way to invite Carol to respond.”

Grandma looks at me and explains. “If she didn’t have some level of interest, she wouldn’t have signed the card at all. If Carol wasn’t interested, she wouldn’t be debating over and over again whether or not to reach out, she simply could have just left things as they were.”

Nodding in agreement.

It certainly is subtle with ample interpretation for any third party looking at it. Also, it leaves the other person to do with it what they will.

So now, I confirm my suspicion. “I assume Carol contacted her?”

“Correct!” My grandmother exclaims excitedly.

And then Grandma continues. “Carol decided to call to see first if it was her and if so, to thank her.”

************

**Journal Entry:**

I told myself last night that I wouldn’t call.For all those questions I had asked myself the night before.

Also…She’s so young. As if it wasn’t bad enough…

I actually tossed the note in the waste basket in my bedroom.

But this morning though…walking by that waste basket several times.

I walked by to get to the bathroom.

I walked by it to my closet.

I walked by it…whatever, I’ll admit it, I walked by it to just look at the damn note in the waste basket.

So I gave up. I pulled that greeting card back out of the basket.

I told myself I would call after my morning coffee.

And then I had to take a walk.It was good to get in exercise and fresh air.I couldn’t skip out on that.

I then told myself that I would call after lunch. 

And then I had to make sure to have cookies ready for Rindy for when she came home from school.I know there’s Florence, who’s the nanny and helps me with the house, but it was important for me to pick out the specific cookies right?

At this point, I finally admitted to myself that I am just nervous and procrastinating. Obviously I’m trying to push off actually calling to find out if it was the young woman at the counter that had helped me.

So as I started to prepare dinner, districting myself from my nerves, I pick up the phone and dial Frankenberg’s number. 

A robotic voice on the other end ask who I’m looking for. I ask her for Employee 645-A.

There’s a brief pause and when I hear the operator say she’s patching me through, my nerves go into a bundle and I have to remind myself to breathe.

But that’s of no use because my breath catches as soon as I hear her voice on the other end.

Thank God I’m cooking. It was a great disguise for a blush because I was blushing intensely as I talked to her.Florence shouldn’t be the wiser. 

I had just thanked her. I really didn’t plan beyond just saying thank you for the gloves. Somehow though, just knowing she’s on the other end of the line, that same feeling and boldness bubbles in my again. I wanted to extend my time with her.

And of course before I can process what it is that I want, what the repercussions are of what I’m about to do…I say I’m taking her out to lunch to thank her.

I can’t help it. I simply just want to see her again. Nothing wrong with that…Clearly though, every time this green-eyed brunette is involved I react, without thoughts or planning.

She says it’s ok, but I’ve opened up that possibility, I can’t let this slip by. So I push with a little more conviction. And luckily she accepts…well something of an acceptance. But I’ll take it!

We’re going to Scotty’s on Madison tomorrow during her lunch hour.

I’m nervous as heck, but I’m so excited.I haven’t been able to wipe this smile off my face ever since I heard her voice on the other end of the line.

************

“So she called that next day and asked for Employee 645-A. And guess what?”

“It was her?”

“It was! Carol asked her out to lunch as a ‘thank you’…” Grandma was sure to include those air quotes before continuing, “…for returning her gloves.”

“That’s bold!” I clap my hands for Carol.

“Way to go Carol!” I cheer. 

And of course my next question was, “So…did she say yes?”

“Of course! They were set to have lunch that next day at a place called Scotty’s.”

“Ohhh so how was the date then grandma?”

Just then my mom pipes up. 

“Sweetie, didn’t you say that you had to head back before noon today?”

I look at the clock and jump up. “I almost completely forgot! Thanks for reminding me Mom!”

I turn to my grandmother with disappointment plastered on my face.

“Grandma can tell you more of that story when you visit again, sweetie. And I’ve packed some food for you to take back with you.”

I go to quickly get changed and pack up my stuff.

Mom and Grandma kiss me and remind me to eat well and to be careful. They’ve always been nervous of me working in such a high rise in downtown New York City.

I say my goodbyes and head out.


	4. The Lunch

_*knock knock knock*_

The large doors swing open.

“Sweetie! You’re early!” Mom pulls me in for a quick hug.

“Hi Mom!” I return her hug. 

“I finished up my errands yesterday so I was able to make the earlier train,” I explain.

It was the Saturday of Easter weekend, so the trains were running on a holiday/weekend schedule. That meant if I missed the morning train, I wouldn't be in for another couple of hours.

I follow my mom inside and look around for my grandmother.“Where’s Grandma?”

“Oh she’s in the sunroom sweetheart.”

I leave my mom’s side and start to pick up a light jog, trying to be as quiet as I can.

I get to the sunroom and see Grandma lounging in the wicker chaise with a martini glass in hand.She’s facing the backyard looking so relaxed and clearly enjoying the warmth of the sun that’s coming in.

I tip-toe towards her, wanting to surprise her.

She takes a sip from her glass and says“I know it’s you dear.” Grandma smirks.

Disappointed that I failed again, I shrug and admit, “I can never sneak up on you.”

I move to wrap my arms around her from behind the chair. Looking into her glass, I see it's half full with an olive still in there."Grandma, you really shouldn’t be drinking martini’s so early.”

“Darling, old habits die hard,” Grandma says defiantly.

I unwrap my arms around her and head towards the chair next to my grandmother. When I turn to face her again, I arch my eyebrow at this and scoff. “Please Grandma.” Then I point out, “Habits can be changed. Unlike genetics.”

Grandma laughs.“What if it actually is?”

I laugh at how ridiculous my grandmother is being. “I’m not a scientist, but I highly doubt drinking martinis with an olive is genetic.”

Grandma winks.

“How’ve you been sweet pea? You look like you’ve been working hard.” Grandma says clearly with concern.

“Well geez.I’m glad I’m looking good!” I tease.But I know what she means. I give her a soft warm smile.“We’ve been busy at work,” I admit.I take her hand.“But I’m glad to be spending the long weekend with you both here."

“Mom?” I ask looking around since I seem to have lost her.

“I’m here honey.I had to fix myself a martini too to join your grandmother.If you want one, I can give you mine and make up another one.” My mom holds out the full glass.

Looking between my mom and grandmother.

_Why not join the party?_

“Sure. Thanks Mom.” I take the offered martini glass.

“I told you it was genetics!” Grandma says playfully.

We both laugh.Mom heads back in while Grandma and I relax a bit to wait for her to join us. When she comes back with her glass. We cheers to family.

I take a sip from my glass and then turn to Grandma.“So…the lunch?”

“You mean our reservation at 4?” My mom asks.

I laugh. “No mom.”

Grandma asks, “What lunch sweetie?”

Clearly they’re both confused. I guess it had been months since my grandmother started the story.So I help them. “Carol and the young woman from Frankenberg’s. How was their lunch date?”

Grandma laughs.“I’m such a stupe. That’s right, we didn’t finish the story over Christmas.”

Getting serious, Grandma sits up. “So Carol arrives late to lunch.”

“She gets there late?” I ask incredulously.“You can’t be late...not on the first date!”

“Sweetie, Carol was coming in from Jersey. You know what the commute is like.” Grandma tries to reason.

************

**Journal Entry:**

I decided not to drive into the city since I knew that I would have a few drinks at lunch. Besides, Abby was supposed to be in the area and had offered to pick me up afterwards and drive me to Harge’s party.

I had to cancel on Abby. I know she was disappointed. And so was I. We were supposed to spend time together that evening and exchange Christmas gifts. Harge had essentially pressured me into going to this party at Cy’s and Jeannette’s. Abby, although disappointed, said that she was in the city today anyways and had to drive home afterwards and this arrangement was convenient for everyone. Besides, the drive would give us a chance to catch up since we were no longer meeting up that evening. 

Between waiting for the cab to take me into the city and the traffic, I was of course late for my lunch.

I tried to leave early, but it took me forever to find something suitable to wear. I was not trying to seduce Ms. Belivet or anything like that. However, I still wanted to look nice and presentable.

I caught her last name when I called into Frankengberg's the day before. 

As I sat in that cab, I felt terrible.Not only was this a bad impression that I am making, I was also late to a lunch that I had invited her to. Added to that, she only had an hour for lunch. That's why as soon the cab pulled over, I quickly got out and picked up my pace as I approached Scotty’s.

When my gaze settled on her, I felt my lips start to spread and a smile growing. It helped that her beautiful face and delighted green eyes greeted me with a smile even though I was late.That alone had helped to settle my nerves a bit.

We greet each other formally with hellos and I head to the hostess to request for a table for two.

As soon as we sit, I quickly ordered my lunch and a martini with an olive. I wanted to make sure to move the ordering along because I didn’t want her to be late returning to work. So much so that I didn’t even bother looking at the menu. 

Once I settled myself and looked up, that was when I noticed that in my haste, I had flustered her. I instantly felt bad for putting her on the spot like that.Although a happy side effect was seeing her blush again.

She ended up simply copying my order.

I'm aware that I come across as confident and sophisticated…I play the part. And I play it well. But I was so nervous.

After the waiter left, I pulled out my cigarettes. I had to.Smoking always calmed me. I looked over at her and it seemed like she could use one too. She sat so straight and rigid, and slight flushed. Essentially, she looked how I felt.

So, I offered her one and she accepted.

As my nerves began to settle after the first puff of nicotine I asked for her name. "Therese," she said. It was such a unique name that I had to confirm the pronunciation.

I repeated her name out loud to see how it felt.

"Therese Belivet."

It rolled off my tongue so nicely, almost seductively. 

I still find it amazing that her eyes never waivered from me as I tasted her name indulgently. Her eyes observed me and my every movement. This spurred me to “want” to put on a show for her.

My boldness came again and I reached behind my neck, wanting to draw her eyes there. As intended, her eyes immediately followed my gestures. Even thinking back to that moment, I’m starting to blush at the attention that I was getting from her.

Things seemed to be going great. And then, in what can only be described as…dumb, I said something that I still regret. My brain must have stopped functioning. I don’t even know what came over me.

When Therese asked me about my perfume and how it smelt nice…I told her that it was from my husband...soon to be my ex-husband.I wish I could say that I had some master plan to “hide” out in public. But no. It was simply my nerves and my brain clearly more clouded by this woman than I had thought.

Lucky for me, she didn’t seem to be put-off by this revelation that I was still wearing the perfume gifted by a man I’m divorcing. Regardless, I still feel like a stupe for even admitting to wearing Harge’s perfume. I could have made something up. OR I could have just told her the brand. I absolutely didn’t need to tell her who it came from.

Anyways, wanting to change topics to feel less awkward at what I just told her, I asked about her life. “Do you live alone, Therese Belivet?” She gave this adorable blush and then…almost like she had disarmed me to only punch me in the stomach. She told that me she has a boyfriend and that he wanted to marry her.

I don't think she purposefully planned this, but after feeling disappointed at the revelation of her boyfriend, she suddenly soothes me with this bashful smile. And then she disarms me once more, saying that she didn't even know what to order for lunch when I asked if that's what she wanted, to marry her boyfriend.

I understand her hidden meaning...at least that's what I read from her anyways. She's not sure about her feelings for him. She's out to lunch with me. Observing me. Blushing because of me...Someone she's only met briefly.

But she's not the only one...I'm observing her as well. It's winter, so it can't be that warm, yet I know I'm a little flushed.

And that was when I felt like the rug was pulled out from under me. I started to think about everything that I was doing with Therese.

My life is so complicated. I’m working through a divorce. I have a young child. I am starting my life over…whereas she’s just starting hers. What could I offer her? What would she want with me? She’s so young and her life so simple.

But…I knew, deep in my heart, that I wanted to see her again.

As I battled myself internally, I caught her shifting awkwardly in her seat. I must have been staring off into space for a while in my thoughts.

At last our meals arrived and it eases away the awkwardness that just occurred.

It’s now or never I told myself. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to come over on Sunday.

She paused and looked at me. I wasn’t sure if she would accept or decline. It was a gamble.I held my breath, as I looked away trying to hide what I was actually really trying to do, which was to clock every movement on her face. I was trying to read her mind to see what she was thinking...mostly to prepare myself for when she declines my invitation.

She looked a little taken back initially. Then, as if she had worked something out quickly in her head, she very comfortably accepted my invitation. 

What a strange girl she is. Flung out of space.And I actually said that to her. She seemed more taken back by this comment than the invitation itself. But it’s true. I can’t imagine myself, in her shoes, accepting an invitation like that.

We continued our meal and then I thought it would be a good idea to figure out the logistics.

I offered to drive her. She quickly declined. She said that she could take the train and a cab to get to my home in Jersey.I said “absolutely NOT” and basically forced the point that I would pick her up. She finally relented. We settled on a time for me to pick her up and she wrote out her address for me.

Our time ended when the bill arrived. She reached for her purse, but I waived her off. I would NOT let her pay for this. I don’t want to judge but I could tell she’s not wealthy and this is an expensive place. I asked her out, so I should pay. Besides, I was late and she was waiting for me. It was the least I could do. 

She blushed prettily as I paid for our lunch and then we prepared to leave.

I saw Abby pull up across the street as we walked out of the restaurant. I said a quick goodbye to her and started walking towards Abby’s car, with a little spring in my step.

Was it from the martini? Was it from Therese?

Quite suddenly, that same feeling from when I was leaving her at Frankenberg’s came to the fore again, even as I air-kissed Abby a greeting. I wanted another glimpse of her. So I turned back to see her putting on her scarf and looking so adorable in her outfit with that tartan hat of hers. I waved goodbye and she returned it. Abby turned to look at who I was waving at and I knew she would ask me about Therese.

And of course Abby did. On our drive, she asked who Therese was. I had no real answer for her.

"She returned my gloves," was my response. That was the only fact that I knew was true and was certain of.

But we both of us knew Therese more than someone whom simply returned my gloves.

I didn’t share with Abby that she would be visiting me on Sunday. For some reason, I couldn’t.

Regardless, I am excited. And Sunday can't come soon enough.

Looking back, it was a wonderful lunch date.

“Date”.

Could I call it a date? My nerves made it feel like a date. The growing butterflies in my stomach as I asked her to come over on Sunday felt like a date. And the excitement of when she accepted my invitation definitely confirmed it was a date for me. This was in fact our first date. At Scotty’s on Madison.

************

“Was Carol’s date upset at her being late?” I ask because that really is something that wouldn't fly with me.

“Not at all. She greeted Carol with a genuine smile and was really delighted to see her again," my grandmother confirms.

“Carol’s lucky. If it were me, I certainly wouldn’t have been impressed."

Grandma laughs. “Well lucky for Carol, she didn’t make ‘you’ wait!” Grandma jabs at me.

I inch away from her finger but obviously she still gets a good poke in.

Grandma settles back again and continues. “So they sit down, order food, and then Carol asks for her name.”

“Wait, she didn’t know her name?” This actually surprises me.

“Well…” Grandma tries to explain. “She only got her last name when she called into the store with her employee number. But she didn’t know her first name.”

“Oh! Ok. Interesting.”

Grandma looks at me. She had such a strange look in her eyes. I couldn’t quite place it.“So what was her name, Grandma?”

“Therese. Therese Belivet.” She says softly.

Surprised and a bit taken back, I confirm with her. “Like my name?”

“Yes, just like your name.” Mom says softly to help answer my question. Grandma seems to be composing herself. I look over to Mom and there’s a similar look in her eyes. Same as my grandmother’s.

I can’t tell if they are sad or happy or nostalgic. Whatever it is, I don’t have the heart to keep on this line of questioning. However, this needs to be bookmarked for another time. Clearly there is some connection here.

Grandma takes another sip of her martini.“So…” She begins shakily and takes another breath before continuing, “Carol was in a flirty mood. She goes and stretches, touching the back of her neck.”

Trying to lighten the mood a little, I playfully say, “Looks like Carol’s got moves! The neck is considered an erogenous zone.”

Grandma and mom break into a loud chuckle and my attempt to break the tension is a success. “Carol certainly is flirty and playful,” my mom agrees. Grandma and Mom share a knowing look before Grandma continues her story.

“Well when she did that, her perfume made it its way to Therese. It must have smelt nice because Therese asks her about it.”

Grandma shakes her head, almost disapprovingly as she continues. “And Carol tells Therese that the perfume was from her ex-husband.”

“Wait what?”

Shocked and floored can’t properly describe what I just heard. Both my grandmother and mom are laughing at my reaction and I look between the both of them.

“Well…Isn’t that like dating 101?Never talk about an ex on a first date?” I ask for confirmation.

It couldn’t have been that different back in the ’50’s. Still baffled and in disbelief, “And here I thought Carol had moves.”

Grandma, still laughing at my reaction manages to add, “Well too bad Carol didn’t have you there coaching her on how to date either!”

“Ladies, I believe we have a reservation in a little bit.” My mom is always the one keeping us all on track. “Let’s freshen up a bit and get ready to head out.”

Mom starts to take our glasses back into the kitchen.

“I can't believe you managed to get us the early dinner reservation, Mom.” I am so impressed at my mom sometimes.

“You know it!" My mom says with a wink.

“I’ve been looking forward to it all week when you told me." I admit.

I haven't been able to get into the Scotty's on Madison Ave in the city. So I was glad to hear that they opened up something in Jersey and mom said she would try to get us reservations. I didn't think she could though. But she came through. 

Grandma starts to get up. "Alright then Therese. Let's get ready to go. We'll have to finish this up another time."

"Same bat time. Same bat channel." I confirm.

And off we went.


	5. The Sunday

After our early dinner, we all returned to the Jersey home happy and full.

Grandma felt a bit tired, so she retired upstairs first, while my mom and I stayed behind.

Sitting on the couch in the tv room, I look over to my mom. 

“How did you meet dad?”

“Well sweetie, we met in high school.” My mom smiles and says, “High school sweethearts.”

Then she leans in and whispers, “Your grandmother didn’t like him at first.”

She laughs at that and then continues. “But she softened her stance when she got to know him. I went to photojournalism school and he went off to the military to become a Marine. We got married a couple of years after I graduated from school.”

She looks at me. “We had you a couple years after that.”

She cups my cheek.“You have your dad’s smile.” Then her thumb grazes close to my eyes. “But you have your grandmother’s eyes.”

She smiles at me.

“Before you were born, I would actually go with him to where ever it was he was being deployed. As a photojournalist, I actually covered quite a bit of the wars that we were involved in.However, after I had you, I didn’t feel comfortable taking you with us into the war zones. So you and I would stay behind whenever he got deployed.”

“Was that when you moved back with Grandma?”

My mom’s eyes start to glisten. “It was pretty soon after you turned 3 that we moved in with her. And your dad was deployed to Afghanistan a few months after that.”

My dad had died serving our country in Afghanistan.I was still quite young when he passed. I only have vague memories of him.

All of a sudden I hear my mom shout. “It’s 8!” She turns on the tv to watch…

“Grey’s Anatomy?” I ask. I can’t help the judgment. “Geez, that show just never ends. How many disasters can actually happen in one hospital?”

My mom laughs.“I happen to enjoy the melodrama sweetie.”

Feeling like I never have enough time with her, I snuggle up to her and watch this show that I would never watch in any other circumstance.

After the episode, we decide to turn in.

I enter my childhood bedroom and get comfortable in my bed. As I lie down, I think about how hard it must have been for my mom to raise me on her own after my dad passed.

_No. She wasn’t alone. She had Grandma._

With a smile, I close my eyes and think about Grandma’s story. I know it clearly has a connection to me and my family. But what, I just don’t know yet. I’m sure Grandma will get there at the end. It’s like she’s guiding me through an important story in our family. I just need to be patient.

And just like that, my eyes fall shut and sleep takes over.

Feeling like I just shut my eyes, when I slowly open them again, light is already coming in through the blinds in my room.

_It’s Easter Sunday with my mom and grandmother.But I’m sure I can afford to sleep in a little and catch up on some much needed sleep._

I glance at my phone beside me.

_It’s 10am already._

I give a big stretch and lazy around for a couple minutes.

_Or maybe it’s time to start the day._

I get up and head to the bathroom to start my morning routine. When I return to my bedroom to change, I remember a book that I brought with me for the weekend.

_I should return it to the study._

I took the book to read a few months before Christmas and had finally finished reading it a few weeks ago.

Grabbing the book from my purse, I start towards the study.As I walk down the stairs I can hear my mom and grandmother chatting.

 _They must be in the sunroom again_.

I enter the study to return the book.

When I enter the study, for the first time, my eye catches a toy train set. It’s sitting on a large side table with a couple of chairs on either side.

_Is this the train set in Grandma’s story? I’ll need to ask her today. Odd how I never noticed it before._

As a child, I don’t actually recall coming in here often, if at all.Maybe because it was filled with large books that didn’t have any pictures. Later, as I got older and coming in here, I assume, I wasn’t looking for toys, so I didn’t notice the train set then either.

Regardless, I exit the study and head out to meet my family, on the way stopping by the kitchen for a cup of coffee.

“Morning!” I say walking into the sunroom.

“Morning Therese,” my mom says looking over at me.

For the first time that morning, I actually hear some music playing and recognized it to be “Easy Living.”

“Morning sweet pea!” Grandma greets me.“Guess what I found Therese?” she says excitedly.

“What Grandma?”

“I found an old record!” She exclaims with so much enthusiasm that I haven’t seen in a while.

“No way! Is that Easy Living on vinyl? How did you even find it?”

“I was in the study early this morning and saw it sitting on one of the shelves when I was pulling out a book to read.”

I look on the table and see “The Price of Salt” by Patricia Highsmith.

Grandma continues, “I know we hear it every year on your iTunes playlist…but it’s just different playing that record.”

That’s when my mom gets up. “It’s almost noon. I need to get some things ready for lunch.You two keep talking.”

“Sure thing Mom. Let me know if you need any help,” I offer.

“Thank you sweetheart,” my mom says as she walks back towards the kitchen.

Grandma turns to me. “Speaking of lunch. I believe we left off with Carol and Therese having another meeting - .”

“Date.” I correct my grandmother.

Grandma chuckles, “Yes dear. ‘Date’. Their ‘date’ was set for Sunday.”

************

**Journal Entry:**

“I’m seeing Therese.” I continued to repeat this throughout the morning.

I felt as if I were a child again.

There was so much excitement with a touch of fear…and of course buckets of anxiety. I must have checked the piano room, the living room, and the kitchen 10 times to make sure it looked nice before leaving to pick up Therese.

Before I knew it, it was time to leave. I quickly gave Rindy a kiss good-bye and left her with Florence.

I don’t know how it happened but I was already driving up to the pick up spot that Therese and I agreed upon. I must have been so anxious that time had completely lapsed.

As I pulled up, that’s when I noticed a man next to her. This of course was Richard. He was a handsome enough young fellow. It didn’t take long for my attention to re-focus on Therese though, who was waving at me.

I gave her a genuine smile that she returned as she enters my car. I think I gave Richard a salute before we drove off. It’s a little difficult to think about anything other than Therese when she’s around I find.

Being this close in a confined space was really confounding my senses.I tried to focus on the driving, but she made it so hard by sneaking glances at me. In this instance, I wished she was the one driving so that I could focus my attention solely on her.

We arrived at a tree lot. I told Therese I would just be a minute. I wanted to get Rindy a tree that we could decorate together for Christmas. I pulled over to the side and quickly got out to finish this task.

As I was completing my transaction, a sensation came over me. I glanced over my shoulder and see Therese with her camera out, taking photos. Like our lunch date, her attention on me emboldened me to peacock more. So I ran my hand through my hair. She seemed to have lowered her camera by that point. Maybe she didn’t like that gesture. I suddenly felt a little self conscious then. So I quickly got my tree back to my car with the help of the assistants at the lot.

With the tree wedged between us for the remainder of the drive, it seemed to focus me better on the road. We got home and Rindy rushed out to greet me. I looked back at Therese and she seemed in awe of the home.

It’s big. I know. But there’s no warmth here. It’s not a home, unless Rindy is here with me. Whenever she’s not with me, it doesn’t feel like home.

Rindy is of course what a young child would be with a new person. A little shy at first, then curious, and before long they were friends. Seeing her play so freely with Therese warmed my heart.

It got later in the evening, I put Rindy to bed and then I started wrapping her train set while Therese walked around the piano.

She sat down and began to play a tune. “Easy Living”. As she started, I asked if she was taking my picture at the tree lot. She confirmed she was and then apologized. I quickly wanted to assure her that I wasn’t offended.

Truthfully, I just wanted to know. Was it for my ego? My vanity? Or maybe I simply enjoyed the attention. I couldn't tell. But as she tells me that she was told to be more interested in humans, I felt like I wanted to test the waters. I asked her “And how’s that going?”

What struck me in her response was how direct she was. She looked straight at me and responded, “It’s going well actually.” But her gaze didn’t waiver and we locked onto each other. That’s when I realized that she was probably flirting with me.

When she breaks eye contact first to turn back to the piano, I kept my gaze on her. That was so bold of her. Much more bold than when we were at lunch the other day. Maybe I felt as if I could take this further? Once again, as though I had no control over my own body, I felt myself move towards her. I stood up and walked towards her. I placed my hands on her shoulder…lingering for a bit.

I felt her tense up, but then…she relaxed into the touch. So I lingered a little longer too, before brushing her shoulders as I walked off.

It appeared that we were both in a little more of a flirty mood tonight when I asked to see her photography work and she responded that it’s at her place. Was that an invitation to come over?

I gave her an undoubtedly flirty glance and asked her to invite me over to see her work.

And then it all went downhill from there.

Harge bursted through the doors and caught sight of Therese. Initially thinking nothing of it he tells me that he’s taking Rindy away for Christmas because his mother already booked flights to Florida. We argued and then of course his attention lands on Therese.

He knows of my past affairs with Abby. And I could sense his suspicions being high. I was on edge, he was on edge, and clearly this was uncomfortable for Therese. I didn’t have time to think about her at this time. I was so upset and frustrated with what was being interrupted and then with him taking my child away from me when I was promised Christmas with her.

We continued to fight and I wake Rindy to prepare her to go with Harge. As Rindy and Harge leave, whatever mood I was in with Therese before all of this was over. The magic was lost and I just wanted to be alone.

I was ashamed that Therese had to witness all of that. Upset that Rindy was taken away from me and I wouldn’t be able to spend Christmas Eve with her. And just frustrated with everything. And all of that culminated to me offering Therese a ride to the train station to catch her train.

The ride to the train station was terrible. It was awkward, but it was too late. I couldn’t do or say anything to make it better. Not only that, I was in such a state that I couldn’t do or say anything at all. I didn’t want to crumble in front of her. Not like this. Not this soon.

It felt like this was it when she stepped out of my car and walked straight into the train station. She seemed lost. Like how I felt lost. I turned the car around and drove back. I made myself a drink and lit a cigarette.

Hours had gone by when I finally decided that I couldn’t let it end like this. I had to call her. To ask to see her again. Make it right. Summoning what courage I had, I picked up the phone and dialled her number.

I was about to hang up after the third ring when she picked up. This was it. I had nothing else to lose. If she wouldn’t see me again, then at least I knew I tried. I had to bear it all, shame or not. “Would you let me come see you tomorrow evening?” I stutter my way through.

Every millisecond that passed by felt like I was further and further away from her. When she finally accepted. I couldn’t even feel elated or excited because all I had room for emotionally was just relief. Relief that I had another chance.

And then I hear her say that she wanted to ask me things. So I begged her to ask me things. I don’t beg. And I rarely even need to ask. But with her, I needed to. But silence followed. She couldn’t form her questions likely because she didn’t even know what to ask. So I suggested that we talk tomorrow when I come over. And we hung up.

Tonight, I’m anxious. But not in the way that I was this morning, full of hope of a flirty fun day. No, tonight I was anxious because it felt like her and I have managed to rapidly push into serious. We would likely be sharing a more serious evening together, no longer light and flighty.

I end it here, so that I can try to sleep to prepare myself.

************

“Therese takes in Carol’s large house and settles at the piano to play Easy Living, while Carol wraps the train set that she got Rindy for Christmas.”

That’s when I suddenly remember the train set in the study.

I interrupt Grandma. “Oh! I was going to ask you. This morning when I returned a book to the study, I saw a train set in there. I just noticed it for the first time today.”

Grandma eyes me curious and I continue with my question. “Was that the train set in your story? The one that Carol bought for Rindy?”

“Yes. Yes it is,” she responds softly. 

Curious, I ask, “Does it still work?”

Grandma offers a soft smile. “It does, darling.I was actually going to run it today.” She takes my hand and continues, “And I thought…perhaps you’d like to come with me.”

With hopeful eyes, she asks, “Would you?”

I squeeze her hand and return her soft smile. “Yes. Yes, I would.”

We walk into the study and she hooks up the train set to the battery pack and turns it on. It’s been a very long time since I’ve seen my grandmother’s eyes twinkle like that.

She glides her hand over some of the buildings and offers, “These are hand-painted figures. Each one of these.”

Grandma settles into one of the chairs and gestures for me to sit in the other chair.The train continues to go around the track and she continues her story.

“So, they were having a great flirty time with glances and light touches. Therese being a photographer, Carol asks for an invitation to visit her home to see some ofher work.”

“Oh wow. Another bold move for Carol!” I exclaim thoroughly impressed at how forward this woman was. Even during our modern times, that’s to be applauded.

My grandmother confirms. “She definitely was bold.”

Looking almost…ashamed, she continues sadly, “But all this happiness didn’t last long before her ex-husband arrives to take their daughter away for a Christmas vacation earlier than they had agreed on. Carol and her ex-husband argue heatedly.This obviously makes Therese uncomfortable.By the time her ex-husband and daughter leave, Carol can only offer Therese a ride to the train station.”

Feeling disappointment for the two women that appeared to be progressing well in their relationship. I confirm my suspicion with my grandmother. “That doesn’t sound like the night ended well.”

Grandma gives a long sigh. “No sweet pea. It most definitely didn’t end well. After Therese leaves and Carol returns home, she takes a chance and calls Therese to apologize for what happened and asks to see her the next evening.”

I look at Grandma expectantly.

My grandmother offers a smile and confirms, “Of course she said yes. It turns out the young woman was as enamoured with Carol as Carol was with her.”

With a sigh of relief, I say, “I assumed so, but you never know. There could always be twists and turns.”

“Therese! Can you come help me out a bit with lunch?” my mom calls from the kitchen.

“Sure thing Mom!” I turn to Grandma, “Can we continue this after lunch?”

“Of course darling. Go on.” Grandma turns back to the running train set.

I leave my grandmother to help my mom with lunch. Glancing back before I turn down the hallway towards the kitchen, I look at Grandma. She seems so lost in her thoughts looking at that train and touching each of the figurines.


	6. The Invite

We finished our lunch, cleaned up, and decided to go for a walk around the area before I had to leave for the city again.

As soon as we step outside through the doors, I pull up my zipper on my light spring jacket. Looking over my right shoulder, both my mom and grandmother are ready to start walking.

“Mom, Grandma, you two go ahead and I’ll catch up. I’ll lock up the door.”

They smile at me. My mom takes my grandmother’s arm and they start down the street. After locking the door, I turn back and take in the scene before me. 

_It’s so peaceful here._

There’s grass. No one in sight.I close my eyes and inhale, a deep long breath. 

_So fresh._

It’s very different than the city life. The city life is dense and busy.Always full of people everywhere you turn. It’s loud with cars honking at all hours.

I look ahead and see that my mom and grandmother had made it a couple blocks down already and they are going at a leisurely pace.I break into a jog to catch up to them. 

When I catch up, I grab my grandmother’s other arm and link onto her as well.

“Where are we headed to this afternoon?” I ask the both of them.

My mom looks over at my grandmother and myself and says, “Well we thought maybe we can walk by Aunt Abby’s old place. It’s a fair distance but not too far. By the time we get back, it should be enough time for you to get ready to head back to the city.”

Grandma looks over at me, “Is that ok sweet pea?”

“Of course, Grandma.” I smile back at her.

I tug on her arm a little bit. “If my calculations are right…it should be about a 45 minute round trip…” I pause for dramatic effect. “I’m dying to know what happened that next day when Carol went to see Therese.”

Grandma and Mom laugh. 

My mom turns to my grandmother, “You might as well try to wrap up that portion of the story mom, so she has some closure.”

Grandma glances over at me briefly as we continue to walk.

“Alright dear young Therese. The next day, Carol receives a call from Fred.” There’s a pause. I look over at my grandmother. I can’t see her eyes since she has her sunglasses on, but I image they must be teary as I hear her sniffling a little.

I notice that even my mom is very quiet as well.

Grandma clears her throat and shakily continues, “Fred, her friend and lawyer, was taking care of the divorce and custody issues for Carol. She started the day coming into the city to see Fred.”

“Was Carol finalizing the divorce and custody agreement?” I ask.

We walk a little further and then Grandma responds, “Well when she saw Fred, he told her that her ex-husband planned to use a “morality clause” to get full custody of Rindy.”

“Morality clause? What the hell is that?” I wonder.

“Well, it was a different time, sweetie. They would be able to use the fact that she had relationships with women as a way to affect custody of her child.”

“That’s so unfair!” 

“I know, darling.” Grandma says sadly.“I know.”

Grandma takes a deep shaky breath and continues as we walk.“Carol was devastated at potentially losing her daughter. She walks out of Fred’s office in a daze and finds herself in front of a store selling cameras.”

_No way._

I pause my walking. Not realizing that I’ve effectively pulled my grandmother and mom to a halt as well since we’re all connected.

“Does she buy Therese a camera?” I ask in disbelief. “Those things must have been crazy expensive back in the day.”

My mom laughs. “They certainly were.”

“Isn’t that kind of an expensive gift for someone you’ve only just met?”

Grandma considers this for a bit. “Well, keep in mind, dear, Carol is wealthy.So the cost was likely not as big a deal for her as you may think.And, I’m sure she wanted to do something nice for Therese being a photographer and previously expressing that she didn’t have a decent camera to use.”

“Was it also because of what happened the night before?” I ask.

My grandmother pauses for a bit. “I think so. To some small extent. But the main consideration was to do what she could to further Therese’s passion as a photographer.”

“So she gives the gift that same night?”

“Yes. Therese was beyond grateful and touched when Carol gifted her the camera. She then shows Carol the photographs that’s she’s taken and displayed on her wall.”

“Were her photos any good?” I ask curiously.

My grandmother smiles proudly. “They certainly were. As Carol was looking through the photos, she sees this perfect shot of herself at the Tree lot. They then go up to the rooftop to talk. That’s when Carol tells Therese what was going on in her life and what Fred had informed her that morning. Since she knew she would not have Rindy for Christmas, she didn’t want to spend Christmas in town. That was when she tells Therese that she was thinking of going away for a while.”

“Oh. This is a little unexpected. Therese must have been upset if she was also interested in Carol and hearing that she’s going away."

With a bit of melodramatics, my grandmother says, “Well she was…until Carol asked if she would come with her.”

************

**Journal Entry:**

When I saw Fred, nothing struck me as being off until he told me to sit. That’s when I knew whatever it was would be bad.Then he told me about the injunction that he received this morning and the morality clause that referenced Abby.When he paused, I knew immediately.

Harge had seen Therese last night. That was what triggered this injunction. I knew it.

Fred told me to not try to see Rindy until they resolved the injunction or that “would cause more scrutiny.” 

I’m beyond furious at Harge for this. I know him. He’s hurt and he’s acting out. I can’t believe that he would go this low. To use Rindy in this manner as retaliation for pushing for this divorce.

After Fred’s office, I was just in a daze. I didn’t know what to do or where to go. I was simply wandering. What am I going to do if I lose Rindy? How will I carry on?I can’t lose her…but what can I do?

I almost walked into someone…or something. I can’t remember anymore. After being startled back into this world, I found myself in front of a store selling camera equipment. I go into the store to have a closer look.

Therese.

The camera would make a nice gift for her. She mentioned the night before that she didn’t have a decent camera. It must be a sign that I ended up wandering by a store that sells cameras. And it came in such a nice suitcase.

As I paid for the camera, I started thinking that maybe I should go away for a few weeks. Rindy isn’t going to be with me for the holidays. I don’t want to be here without her. I want to get out of the city. So why not?

I take the suitcase that the camera comes in and continue onto the restaurant where I was supposed to meet Abby. As I walked, I kept glancing down at the suitcase.

I arrived at the restaurant and saw Abby had already gotten us a table. A true friend. My best friend. I don’t know what I would have done if not for her support, especially during this fight with Harge. She’s also been a wonderful Godmother to Rindy. 

I’ve always felt terrible for what happened between her and I. We had a short-lived affair. It was my first experience with a woman. I had gotten so lost in the newness and excitement of it that I didn’t realize Abby’s growing feelings for me. Even to this day, I think she still has some of those feelings for me.

At the time, I had wanted to try to make my marriage work with Harge. I told Abby this and she, like the wonderful friend that she’s always been, accepted my decision. Nevertheless it strained our friendship for a while, but eventually we were able to get through it. And I had Rindy soon after and made Abby Rindy’s Godmother. ****

So when she saw me with the suitcase and asked if I was going anywhere, I told her my plan to leave for a few weeks since I couldn’t have Rindy with me for Christmas. That I needed to leave the city. She knew right away that I was going to ask Therese to go with me.

“She’s young.Tell me you know what you’re doing.”

There was no jealousy. No judgement. Simply concern and care.

I know Abby loves me. She may even still be in love with me to some degree. But first and foremost she has always put my benefit at the fore. And many times, even before her own. I’m indebted to her…

“I don’t. I never did.” That was my response. And it was true. I bought a train set from her on a whim. I called to thank her for returning my gloves but ended up going to lunch with her. At lunch…I don’t even know what I was hoping to happen at lunch, but I ended up spending Sunday with her. And then tonight? I was going to ask her to travel with me? Someone I had only met about a week ago?

Clearly I have no clue what it is that I’m doing. Yet, I am driven to do it. 

I must have glanced at that luggage and asked myself a dozen times during my drive from the restaurant to Therese’s if I was really going to go through with it. 

As I walked up to her building and was about to buzz her, her landlady walked out and asked me who I was seeing. I told her Therese, and she gave me her apartment number. I walkedslowly up the stairs carrying the luggage, wondering if it made sense to ask her to travel with me.

When I arrived, after a couple of deep breaths to ready my nerves, I knocked. I was still working through my emotions and whether or not I would ask her to come with me when she opened the door.

As soon as I saw her, whatever I thought I knew and whatever I was rehearsing in my head dissipated. My smile grew. And it grew even wider when she saw my gift. She loved the camera. In that moment, all I could think of was that my gut was right.

I finally got to see her work. It was so beautiful. She had such an eye for photography. And when my eyes fell on the photo that she took of me. I knew that she could see through me. There was such a vulnerability in how she had photographed me. Not when I was ready, not when I was trying to pose, but when I was truly caught off guard. She took the photo right when I had that sensation that her gaze was on me and I glanced back. It was perfect.

But immediately after…what broke me was her photo as a child. So many things hit me at once. These days, a photo of any child reminds me of Rindy and how my daughter won’t be with me at Christmas. But being that this was also a photo of Therese as a child, this brought me back to reality as well. Was she too young? She’s certainly an adult, but we’re at completely different stages of life.

All of this overwhelmed me and I felt myself unraveling.I needed to sit, needed to leave the photos to try to collect myself. But it was too late. I felt the tears falling. As soon as her hand landed on my shoulder and I took it in mine, the level of comfort and security I felt confirmed all of the answers to my questions.

I didn’t know what I was going to do in general…but I knew that I wanted her with me and that it was only fair that I tell her everything.

We went to her rooftop to talk. The fresh air helped me with my nerves.

There is a peaceful quality about being in the city at night. It’s oddly quiet up on Therese’s roof. As if we’re the only two people in the world. We can be honest without fear of public judgement.

And that was when I told her everything about the divorce and custody.

I finally worked up the courage to talk about going away. I was scared. What if she didn’t want to go? What would happen to…this…whatever it is that is happening?

I took a deep breath, I couldn’t even look her in the eyes, and then I blurted out that I was hoping that she would come with me. When I finally built up the courage to look at her, I found her gaze on me.

I knew she would say yes when I saw her eyes, full of hope and happinesses. Relief washed over me. And when she said the words “Yes. Yes I would.” Those words were imprinted forever in my memory.

************

“And Therese said yes!” Grandma exclaims excitedly.

I shake my head in wonder. “I can’t believe she would just say yes to a trip with someone she barely knows.”

Grandma turns to me and smiles. “Well with the innocence of youth you’re more willing to take a larger gamble with your heart.”

We look up at the house that we’re in front of now.It was Aunt Abby’s…or at least use to be Aunt Abby’s. 

We use to spend so much time here.She had all these little trinkets for me to play with. She would come over so often as well. Grandma loved spending time with her. Last year she passed. It was peaceful. Just in her sleep.

“Let’s start heading back now,” my mom suggests.

“Your mother’s right, let’s end the story here for now sweet pea.”

Before we start back, my grandmother turns to me and asks, “Are you free next Sunday? I’m going with your mother to Aunt Abby’s grave. Would you like to join us?”

“Of course. I loved Aunt Abby. And I miss her terribly.”

Grandma gives me a kiss on the cheek. “We’ll expect another visit from you next Sunday then.”


	7. The Trip

Rarely do I get a chance to see my mom and grandmother on a weekend like this.It’s hard to make it out of the city when it’s not a long weekend.

With my beige trench coat and light scarf, I walk out of the train station.Immediately, I spot my mom’s car in the “kiss and ride” zone.I wave and briskly walk towards the car smiling as I see my mom and grandmother in the front seat.

Opening the door to the back seat, I climb in.

“Morning Grandma. Morning Mom.” I lean in between the two front seats and give both a kiss on the cheek.

“Thanks for picking me up at the station, Mom.”

“Of course sweetheart.”

I lean back and buckle up.Grandma glances back and hands me a cup of coffee.

“Thanks Grandma! I definitely need one of these.” I close my eyes and inhale the wonderful smell of freshly brewed coffee.

“You’re welcome sweet pea. Now let’s go say hi to your Aunt Abby and then we’ll get some lunch before dropping you back off at the station again.”

As I settle in, I think about my time with Aunt Abby. She was always so funny, so boisterous, even at her age. I can only imagine what she was like when she was younger. 

She use to always come over for Christmas. When I was younger, I would sit on her lap and she would read me stories.Always making up extra characters and always making me laugh.I loved her dearly. 

My grandmother and her were so close. I remember them always sitting together and talking and laughing.My grandmother would hold onto her arm and rest her head on Aunt Abby’s shoulder as they talked.Very comfortable with each other. Much like how I am with my mom and grandmother.She felt like family, even though I know we weren’t blood related.That didn’t matter. Aunt Abby was family to us…to me.

It was hard on all of us, especially my grandmother, when she passed.

We finally arrive at Aunt Abby’s grave.My mom and grandmother bought a bouquet of flowers before coming to pick me up. It was tulips. We laid it down by her.

“We just came by to say hi and to see how you are doing. We brought Therese with us as well,” my grandmother speaks, reaching out and squeezing my hand a little.

“Aunt Abby, I hope you like the flowers that we picked out for you.They remind us of what you use to grow in your backyard.” My mom adds.

“Hi Aunt Abby. I’ll be sure to visit with Mom and Grandma again next year.”

After a few more moments with Aunt Abby, my mom asks, “Shall we head for brunch?”

“Let’s go sweetie.” My grandmother takes our hands and we start towards the car.

************

**Journal Entry - First Half of the Day:**

I still can’t believe Therese agreed to come with me. And I still can’t believe she came to my house to spend the night here so we can go early. 

She was sleeping when Abby visited early in the morning to wish me well and help pack food for the trip. Abby was so loud that I had to shush her since Therese was still sleeping.

Abby and her scandalous thoughts when she looked at me. I had to put them to rest. Therese was only sleeping in the guest room. Nothing had happened between us.Not that I didn't want it to happen, but clearly it would have been too soon and I didn’t want to pressure her. I wanted her to go at her own pace.

When we walked inside the house I saw Therese at the top of the stairs.Still in her pyjamas and looking as adorable as ever. I paused for a moment to take her in before I remembered that I should introduce them.

Therese retreated back upstairs to get ready and Abby gave me a pointed look that wordlessly asked me again…if I was sure about this.

All I could do was give an unsure smile and shrug.Frankly, even now as I write this after our first day together and getting ready for bed, I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m not sure of anything. All I know is that I need to get away and I want Therese’s company. 

I know. That’s selfish. But at the same time, she accepted. I can’t help but wonder if she feels and thinks the same.

Is she as unsure as I am? Does she know what she’s doing?Or is she throwing caution to the wind like I am?

All of these thoughts fluttered through my mind as I left Abby in the kitchen and went upstairs to get myself ready. 

By the time I finished and started to take my suitcases downstairs, I hear some muffled chatter from the kitchen from Abby and Therese.

I hoped that Abby wasn’t giving her a hard time. As soon as I finished placing my luggage in the truck, I quickly went to the kitchen to see if there was anything that I needed to diffuse.

I was only able to catch the last part of their conversation where Therese had asked if Abby thought that she would hurt me. And Abby’s thoughtful answer of “No,” really made me feel confident in my decision to ask Therese to come with me.

I know that I can be much more whimsical than Abby. She’s much more practical.For her to admit out loud, to Therese no less, made me feel like she had approved of Therese to some extent. This made me feel so relieved.

This was when I interrupted them and I asked if we were ready to go.The only thing left to do was to load the food they packed and Therese’s suitcase.

Abby smiled at me and said they were ready. She gave me a hug and told me to be careful and to not hesitate to let her know if I needed anything on the trip. 

Before leaving, Abby assured me that she would keep an eye on things in case she comes across anything that she hears of from Harge or about Rindy.I don’t know how I am so lucky to have someone like her in my life.I pulled her into a hug again and simply said a heartfelt “Thank you.”

Therese looked at me with a question in her eyes. I knew what she was thinking. Clearly whatever conversation they had in the kitchen while I was loading the car and getting ready, and certainly from the hug and how close Abby and I appear to be…I’m surprised she hasn’t outright asked me anything about that yet.

All I could do was smile at her. It was simple in my head. I love Abby. As a friend. As a sister. But I was not in love with her. There is no question.I hope I was able to convey that with my smile.

When she returned my smile, that put me at ease. We then loaded up the rest of our things, locked up the house and then drove off.

************

We finally arrive at a diner for brunch and head towards an empty table.The waitress comes to take our order, pour us our coffees, and give us water.When she leaves, I take my opportunity.

“We don’t have a lot of time Grandma.Can you tell me about Carol’s and Therese’s trip?”

My mom and grandmother chuckle at the question.

“Sweetheart, that trip will definitely not be told in its entirety over our brunch.It’s at least a 4-part series,” my mom teases.

“Fair enough, Mom,” I acknowledge. I turn to my grandmother, “How about Part 1 over brunch?” I ask eagerly.

Grandma was seated next to me, so she throws her arm over my shoulder and pulls me in to kiss my forehead. “Of course sweet pea.”

She takes a sip of her coffee. “Well the day of, Carol’s best friend comes over to help them pack food for the trip and to wish them well.”

Grandma looks outside and sees these tulips that will begin to bloom soon. She stares at them while continuing her story. “Her best friend was always in her corner.She told Carol before they left that she would keep her eyes and ears to the ground. She wanted to make sure that Carol would know of any news related to her divorce or custody of Rindy as soon as she heard anything.”

Grandma gives a soft light laugh, “She even gave Therese a talking to before they left. Basically to understand Therese’s intention with her friend.She was very protective of Carol.”

“That’s a wonderful friend that Carol has Grandma.”

“Yes. She was definitely wonderful,” my grandmother agrees sadly.

Our food arrives and we start to eat as my grandmother continues her story between bites.

“Anyways, they loaded the car and then began their journey west. Carol had planned to simply drive west.”

“They had no actual destination?” I ask.

“Not really. Carol had thought about perhaps going to Portland maybe.But the idea was to drive west and see where they ended up.”

“I can only imagine how things were for women back in the ’50’s. For them to drive cross country like that without any men. I’m so impressed. ”

“They were certainly impressive women, dear.”

************

**Journal Entry - Second Half of the Day:**

It was about noon before we stopped for lunch.I did not want us to go into our food supply so soon since we were still close enough to stop by areas with restaurants without needing to veer too far off of our path.

This small town was so quiet. We entered this diner and it was just us.We ordered a simple lunch.

I couldn’t help but smile at her. She seemed so much more comfortable in this diner than when she was at Scotty’s.

Seeing her at ease, I genuinely felt happy.We had only started this trip but it already felt as if we were beginning to grow closer and be more comfortable with each other.

I was wiping my hands with the napkin when I caught from the corner of my eye that she had pulled something out of her purse. When I looked up at her, she held out a gift and told me to open it.

She looked so happy, hopeful, and excited about the gift that she was offering me. I took the gift from her and started to unwrap it.

She had such an expectant look on her that I found absolutely cute. I couldn’t help myself from being playful. We were in such a good mood. I took the half opened gift and playfully shook it as if to guess the gift and was rewarded with a cute little giggle.

I knew it was a record. But of what, I didn’t know until I opened it.It was Billie Holiday’s Easy Living. It was what she played on the piano for me when she was over last Sunday.

I was touched. I must have only taken a second to bask in how thoughtful this gift was when I heard the click of a camera.

I was embarrassed by the close up and clearly because I wasn’t ready.I wasn’t being modest or humble. I really was embarrassed. So I hold my hand up to stop Therese.

As soon as she took my hand and placed it back on the table, I blush at the contact. She pats my hand as if a little embarrassed at being so bold as to have taken my hand in such an intimate manner in the first place.

I looked at her. I really looked at her as she took my photo. I don’t know how, but the butterflies in my stomach had returned in full force. As she lowered her camera, our eyes locked and being nervous, I needed to break the tension.

I was afraid of what would happen if I let the tension continue to build, especially since we had only just started our trip.

I asked her if she misses Richard. Thankfully she said no.

But she brings up “home” and that reminds me with Rindy.I missed Rindy. And I broke my eye contact with her, trying to reign in my emotions and focus on the present and on my company. I didn’t want to think about that. This was supposed to be my escape. My escape with this wonderful company. And I’m going to make the most of it.

So I shake my head to clear those thoughts and for the rest of the day it was enjoyable. The quiet of the car ride peppered with random casual conversation. When we arrived at our first motel for the night, I checked us into separate rooms and we said goodnight. 

I’ll end this entry here. I need some rest.It will be another long drive tomorrow.

************

Grandma continues, “They get to their first stop, which is a diner for some lunch.At their lunch, Therese hands Carol a gift. She got her a Billie Holiday’s Easy Living record, since she had played it at her home that Sunday that she was over.”

Thinking about the sentimental value of receiving something like that, I comment. “That’s such a thoughtful and personal gift. Therese must really have liked Carol.”

“Yes, she did,” my grandmothernods and confirms.

Grandma finishes her next bite and then continues.

“Therese pulls out her new camera from Carol and takes a photo of her looking at her new record. But Carol gets shy and holds out her hand to wave off the the photography session.”

I laugh a little at this. Grandma looks at me, “Even the most confident of us can be modest and shy at times darling.”

I nod in agreement.

"Therese takes Carol’s hand and places it back on their table. Holding her hand there for a bit, she gives it a little pat.”

Listening intently, I start to lean in a bit. If I’m being honest, I was really wondering how rapidly things would progress with the women, considering everything else happened quite quickly.

My grandmother continues, “Well as the trip progresses, their level of intimacy builds bit by bit. Starting with this, the touch of the hand.”

We finish our last bites and the bill arrives.I insist on covering brunch, relishing this extra visit I was able to have with them.

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you both for consecutive weekends like this,” I say regretfully.

“It changes. Nobody’s fault.” Grandma pauses. 

She pulls me in for another hug in our seated booth. "Life really is full of changes.Let it happen, don’t fight it, darling. You’re young, your priorities are what they are. When you get older, they’ll change again. They keep changing.At one point, you accept it.”

I look at my grandmother. “I want to hear more of this story, but I’m being sent on secondment to Europe for several months.”

“The story will be here when you come back sweet pea. It’s not going anywhere.” My grandmother reassures me.

Playfully, I respond, “But I feel like we’re just getting to the interesting part of the story. When do they hook up? I assume they will.”

We all laugh. 

“They will they will. But it took a little bit of time.” Grandma responds with a pat on my hand.

We leave the diner and they drop me back off at the station to return to the city.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Initially chapters 5-6 started out in my outline as 1, then it became 2. I felt like I couldn’t flush out the events properly if I tried to fit it all into a single chapter and it didn’t make sense to make a giant one. And then I couldn't get 6 without figuring out how 7 would flow. So essentially this became another one of those rapid fire update weekends again.


	8. The Flirting

I had returned from Europe yesterday, Saturday of Labor Day weekend. What’s even better is that I am returning to the office on Tuesday, after the long weekend.This meant that I had two days completely free.

My mother had a big assignment for work and had been out of the house quite a bit, so I thought it would be fun to have Grandma come stay with me for the couple of days.

As soon as I got back, I called my grandmother to see if she would like to spend that Sunday and Monday at my place and we would browse through downtown New York City together for some one-on-one time.She was excited and accepted right away.

My grandmother insisted on using the train, even though I told her that I would get her an Uber from the Jersey home.She said she wanted to take the train and would not hear of anything else.

I acquiesced. 

So here I am, with a cup of piping hot coffee, waiting for her at the entrance of the 86th St. station.As soon as I see her emerge from the entrance I go to greet her.

“Grandma!”

My grandmother looks up, sees me, and a smile spreads.She waves and we both close the distance.

Holding both coffee cups, hers and mine, I give her a big hug balancing the cups in both hands so it doesn’t spill on her.

“Sweet pea! It’s so good to see you.How have you been? How was work across the pond?”

I hand my grandmother her coffee and respond, “It was busy, but I learned a lot over there. How have you been?”

“I’m doing well Therese.Thank you for asking.Just the typical aches and pains that comes with my age.”

“Well you look great Grandma.” And then I pause to wink at her. “As always!”

My grandmother chuckles, with one hand holding her coffee, she wraps her free arm around me. “And you look very fine.”

I laugh at my grandmother’s playfulness. “Shall we walk around a bit Grandma?Let’s walk through Central Park and then we can have lunch after.”

“That sounds wonderful dear.”

As we walk, I remind my grandmother to continue her story.“Grandma. What happened on that trip with Carol and Therese?”

“Where did I leave off sweet pea?”

“You left off at them having lunch at a diner and Therese giving Carol a Billie Holiday record for Christmas.”

“Oh yes. Well, they slowly got closer and closer and their intimacy and relationship grew as well.”

************

**Journal Entry - First Half of the Day:**

We spent the night in separate rooms after our long drive the day before. 

I woke up alone in my room, in one of the twin beds of a dingy motel.Not the type of place that I am use to staying in.I crave the luxury of a 5-star hotel, but given the areas that we are driving through, it is unlikely that we will come across many of those.

However, I am grateful for my company.Lying in bed, I am excited to see Therese once I emerge from the room and we continue our trip.

I have to admit that I am still reeling from the sentimental note of that record that she gave me over lunch at the diner.It is not an expensive gift by any means, but it is a gift that is one of my most cherished.Before bed, I had pulled it out again to look at it and placed it on the night stand next to my bed.This morning, when my eyes opened, I looked at it again. My fingers brush the cover of the record.

“Therese. Thank you.” I say softly to myself, lying in bed.

How is it that someone so new to my life is starting to invade my thoughts almost at a constant basis.

I wondered if Therese is awake yet.Is she getting ready?Is she hungry?Should we grab a bite to eat in town before continuing?All of this played in my head.

With a stretch and deep sigh, I decided it was time to get ready. I got out of bed, threw on my robe, picked out a change of clothes to take into the bathroom, and then proceeded to brush my teeth and shower.

I remember the hot water running down my body feeling so nice and warm.I drift off to more thoughts of what the day holds.We were supposed to make more headway today, inching closer and closer to the west coast.

When I finished my shower, I stepped out and grabbed a towel to wrap around myself.That’s when I noticed that I didn’t bring in my sweater.I was about to step out of the bathroom with just my towel when I hear a knock on the door and Therese’s voice calling out for me.

Part of me wanted to come out with just a towel. I know she would have been flustered and what fun it would be to flirt with her in those conditions. But I had to control myself. We hadn’t moved beyond my hand on her shoulders, hers on mine, and then yesterday her taking my hand. I didn’t want to pressure her nor scare her.

So I decided to be playful, but in a muted sense.Therese seemed to always bring this out in me. It started with my complimenting her adorable Santa’s hat in the store to my self-invitation to her home.I knew what I was doing and she was constantly bringing this side of myself out.I know I am a natural flirt…when I want to be. Around her, I always want to be.

“Therese, will you be a sweetie and fetch me my blue sweater?”

I didn’t want to overwhelm her in just a towel, so I decided to put on my robe…of course with nothing else underneath.

However in my haste to see her, the top became undone a little leaving a clear view of my chest and the sides of my naked cleavage.

When I cracked the door open, I found her eyes immediately on my exposed skin. She took a deep breath and I wondered if I had gone too far, too soon. So I asked if everything was alright when she finally handed me my sweater, and our fingers brushed.

The slight touch had sent a shock of electricity through my body.

“I’m just suddenly starving,” was her response while never taking her eyes off of me, but her gaze was locked with mine by then. Her breathing was a little more laboured than before.

In that moment, I knew what she was starving for. I grinned at the implication and told her I would only be a minute.As I closed the door, I made sure to keep my eyes on her, to see what she would do. I was thrilled that her eyes trailed down my robe-clad body as the door closed.

Once she was out of sight, I clutched my chest and tried to calm my own breathing.That was by far the most intimate exchange I had ever had and it was only our fingers that had brushed.

************

“They were in separate rooms the first night.That morning, however, when Carol was showering, she forgot her blue sweater and asked Therese to hand it to her through the bathroom door.”

“Oh I’m sure she ‘forgot’ Grandma.” I say sarcastically. "Just like she 'forgot' her gloves." 

My grandmother chuckles.“We’ll leave that one up for debate as well sweet pea. Anyways, Carol being only in a robe opens the door to receive the sweater from Therese and notices Therese giving her the once over. She asks if everything is ok.”

“That was so planned Grandma! You can’t tell me that it was an accident and she ‘forgot’ her sweater only to appear naked under a robe from a shower.”

Taking my arm, my grandmother calmly tries to justify Carol’s forgetfulness, “Darling.We weren’t there, so we don’t know for certain.”

I glance at my grandmother skeptically with a raised eyebrow, “Don’t you have the journals? I thought you were referring to the journal entries? We should revisit the evidence.”

My grandmother laughs softly.“Let’s just enjoy the story, dear.”

I finally relent.If she wants it to appear accidental, I will like it slide…this time.

“Fine Grandma. You win. So what was Therese’s response?”

Grandma shrugs. “She said she was suddenly starving.”

I burst out laughing.

“After Carol finishes getting ready, they load their car and continue their drive.”

“How far did they get?”

“I’m not too sure, but they drove until about sunset when they arrive at the next motel.When they go to check in, Carol asks for two standard rooms.The front desk mentions that there’s a presidential suite for an attractive price.Carol considers this but then decides on the two standard rooms.”

“Oh…that was her chance and she missed it.”I say regretfully.

Grandma’s eyes twinkle with mischief. “Well!” She stops walking and pauses for, what I can only assume is dramatic effect. “That’s when Therese pipes in and asks, 'why not take the presidential suite, if the price is attractive.’”

“Well looks like Therese has game too!”

“She certainly has more game than she lets on,” my grandmother says to herself more than to me.

We’ve made it out of Central Park. Now standing in front of a nice little brunch place and noticing it’s just after noon I turn to my grandmother.

“How about we have lunch and you can continue telling me the story there?”

“That sounds wonderful.”

************

**Journal Entry - Second Half of the Day:**

Therese has just stepped into the bathroom to get ready for bed.I don’t have much time to write.But I need to somehow memorialize this event.

We had arrived at our motel for the night and I proceeded to check us into two separate rooms, as we had done the previous night.That was when the front desk had offered us a presidential suite for an attractive price.

I actually took a minute to think about it.I desperately wanted to share a room with Therese, even if it didn’t lead to anything. I had no actual expectations for anything more intimate with her. 

But I debated this internally for what felt like a very long time, but I’m sure was only minutes, if not seconds.I decided to not be presumptuous and I did not want our second night to be awkward, so I opted for the two standard rooms.

And then Therese shocked me. She quietly suggested that we take the presidential suite, since the price was attractive.

I had to pause. I had to gather my thoughts because I was truly stunned silent.I looked back at her and she only shrugged, as if this was the most natural and normal thing in the world.

All I did then was turn back to the front desk, give a little shrug and tilted my head towards Therese.

She understood my meaning and proceeded to check us into the presidential suite.

When we were were settled into our room, Therese pointed out that I had so much luggage.I showed her what was in them and how the smallest contained my make-up and perfume.That was when I suggested that I could show her my little vanity kit and help her use those items.We decided to play the record that she had gotten me and had some whiskey.

Applying make-up is a very simple and menial task. But applying make-up required me to be in Therese’s personal space.It had become increasingly harder and harder to control my mind and of course my physical reactions to being so close to her. I noticed with each application of eyeliner, mascara, and blush, my heart rate would get increasingly quicker. By the time we got to her lips and I applied the lipstick, I was practically hovering over her lips, just barely an inch away.

That was when I decided that it was time for the perfume.I told her to apply it to her pulse points. As she did this, my eyes were drawn to every point that the perfume touched. I couldn’t divert my eyes. The alcohol was not helping with my self control either.

Once again, and likely this time with the confidence of the alcohol, I said, “me too” and she held my open wrist in her hand, pausing a bit before I drew them back to apply to my neck.

I glanced up at her and knew this was my chance. I asked her to smell it. She very well could have smelled it on my wrists, and clearly it was the same perfume that she had on, so she didn’t need to smell anything on me really.

But I craned my head, exposing my neck and inched forward as she came towards me. When we touched, I grinned, basking in the intimacy of it all.

I felt her breath on my neck. It was hot and the puffs were coming just a bit more rapidly before she pulled back slowly grazing her nose along my neck and causing my own breath to hitch.

I looked at her,and then her lips, being only inches away and I was ready to close the gap for a kiss. At that point, she blushed, turned her head away to take a sip of her drink, seemingly to try and calm herself.

A missed opportunity.

But at the same time, I knew things had changed. From when she had had given me the once over at our previous motel to when she decided to move towards me to smell the perfume off of my neck, everything had changed. 

There was no doubt anymore of her intentions and clearly I’m sure she can sense of mine. I can feel it in my bones. It’s only a matter of time.

I’ll end my entry here since she’s coming out of the bathroom now for bed.

************

We went inside the restaurant, were seated and placed our order.The meals came rather quickly.While eating my grandmother continued her story.

“After they settled into their room, they decided to have some drinks and Carol was showing Therese her make-up kit, since Therese does not have as extensive a collection of makeup and perfumes that Carol has.

“So they give Therese a make-over?”

“That’s correct. Carol applied make-up on Therese.”

“So she got pretty much into Therese’s personal space.”

Grandma laughs in acknowledgement. “Yes she did. Carol then passes her perfume over for Therese to self apply.” Grandma smirks and leans in and in a hushed tone adds “Carol applies the same perfume on her neck and has Therese smell it off of her.” She then leans back and exclaims excitedly, “And Therese does!”

“Carol’s really a natural flirt!”

I was glad after the weird perfume confession from their first date, Carol made up for it with this perfume performance. “Bravo!” I clap and nodding my head in approval.

We complete our meal, settle the bill and then head out.

“Too bad Mom couldn’t join us this weekend.”

“Your mom’s gotten busy these past few days.”

“I heard. She has a job by Time Square.I think she’s supposed to “capture New York’s Time Square in the fall” or something like that.”

“Your mother had always loved photography.Ever since she received her first camera, she couldn’t put it down.I still remember her eyes lighting up when she unwrapped the gift.”

Chuckling at what was probably a memory. “Your mother had once said, ‘I feel weird taking photos of people.’”

Grandma looked off to some point in the distance with a soft smile. “And a very wise woman had told her, ‘Oh sweetie. You seem to have picked up on my tendencies when I first started taking photos.’ Looking over at the woman’s inspiration for taking photos of people, she added with a smile and told your mother, ‘You just need to find the right inspiration and you’ll find your way. Capturing people, especially in their most natural expressions and settings, it’s a way to share the different lives that we all live.’”

Then Grandma looks at me and proudly states, "With that your mother never put down that camera again.We kept having to upgrade her.”

Remembering the story and our proximity to some of the locations my grandmother had referenced in her story I ask her, “Do you want to walk by Scotty’s and Frankenberg’s this afternoon? We can stop by Scotty’s for dinner later if they have room. If they don’t then we can always eat somewhere close by.”

She squeezes my hand and says, “That sounds lovely, sweet pea!”


	9. The Night

We walk towards the New York Times building on 8th Avenue.

As we get closer, Grandma sudden takes my arm and guides me towards West 43rd Street.

Looking up, I see “YAHOO!” staring back at me. “Why are we at the Yahoo building Grandma?”

Grandma takes me to the front of the building. “This use to be the New York Times building darling. Not the shiny glass one that’s a few blocks away.”

“Really? How do you know?” I ask curiously.It seems like such a random fact.

“Well I use to spend a lot of time here.”

Grandma points towards the front of the building.“I remember taking my first photo from there.”

“Really?”

She nods. “Yes, I use to visit a lot. Considering how much time I spent here, I was never interested in photography.Rather, I was more interested in interior decorating and working with furniture.”

“Do you want to go inside? Maybe a walk down memory lane?” I urge her towards the entrance, but I was met with resistance.

“No it’s ok sweetie.” Grandma says solemnly.“Everything’s changed, it won’t look the same…it won’t be the same.” 

She pats my hand and guides me away.“It’s enough for me to simply stop by and see it.And I wanted to show you it as well Therese…a little bit of my history.”

I place my free hand on my grandmother’s and lean into her.“Grandma, thank you for sharing a little bit of your history with me.”

“Oh darling, it’s our history,” she says with a smile as we walk away.

As we walk towards Herald Square, I notice how my grandmother is looking around, almost trying to orient herself.I can imagine she must be trying to figure out where things use to be from when she was younger.

As we arrive, at Herald Square, she points towards the Macy’s, “This use to be Frankenberg’s.”

“From the story?” I confirm with her as I look up at the giant department store.

“The one and only.” She says proudly.

“Wow. I guess so much has changed since your story took place.”

She seems to be reflecting on that and smiles, “Yes, sweet pea.So much has changed. Some for the better and some maybe not so much.”

Since we’re at the Square, I lead my grandmother to one of the empty benches to sit as she looks around.

It’s interesting. We’ve been here many times before when I was younger but I don’t think I’ve ever seen my grandmother be so reflective. She’s so much in her thoughts right now.She appears to be taking in the area.It must be the story that’s bringing back memories for her.

“Therese.”

"Yes, Grandma.”

“Is this where you spend your time?” She finally turns to look at me and asks.

“I try to come out here for lunch when I have time and it’s nice out.”

“You should dear. It’s a nice break.”

“I’ll try Grandma.”

She smiles at my response. “So let’s continue the story. They spent their first night sharing a room. Thereafter, they continue to share a room for the duration of the trip.”

“So…did they…you know…” Not quite sure how to phrase the question with my grandmother. It’s like watching Game of Thrones, I love the show, but would I sit there and watch it with my mother and grandmother…likely not.

“Sweet pea, I know I’m your grandmother and I’m old, but you’re also an adult.I think you can safely ask me if they had sex.”

“Grandma!” I say a little embarrassed.

“Yes. Yes they did.”

Very curious now, I start rambling off questions. “Really? When did it happen? Was it right after that night they were using Carol’s make-up?”

“No. It took them a little bit longer.A few days after their first time sharing that presidential suite before their first time together.”

“How did it happen? Who initiated? It had to have been Carol. I’m sure of it.”

My grandmother chuckles at my questions and guess. “Why do you think it would be Carol?”

“She’s way more flirty, at least outwardly. Therese seems more subtle. So it would take forever for anything to happen if left up to her. Plus she’s so much younger. I doubt she would feel confident enough to make the first move.”

Grandma looks thoughtful at my assessment, nods and then counters with, “Wasn’t Therese the one that pushed for the presidential suite?”

I consider this. It’s true… “But that’s not the same. In terms of making actual moves. It’s always Carol. When she was in the shower, and then the perfume on the neck. The more blatant moves always started with Carol.”

************

**Journal Entry:**

I wasn’t able to write last night. So I am making up for it by writing this morning.

Last night, to not seem horribly cliche, was everything that I imagined it would be, but yet better.

I don’t think either of us planned it. Not at first anyways.

We had taken turns to wash. Therese went in first and I was occupying myself with pouring out the beers in the champagne flutes.I decided to not start drinking until she came out so we can properly toast.I had nothing but time while I waited for her to finish washing.

I took in a deep breath and recalled what had occurred up to this point.We had slowly gotten closer and I can feel the level of comfort and intimacy growing each day.

Our hands brush together more often. Our gaze linger on each other longer. And our distance slowly disappearing.

Lost in my own thoughts, I hadn’t realized that the water had stopped running.So I was a little startled when I heard the door open.As soon as my eyes landed on her, the atmosphere had shifted as she emerged from the bathroom and headed towards the vanity. 

As she walked, I knew something was different.I wasn’t able to tell right away when I looked at her though.Then I saw her naked legs peek through as she walked. My gaze trailed up her legs, as flashes of skin drew my attention, until finally our gazes locked and she gave a pretty blush.

“I hope you weren’t waiting too long.”

“No. No I was not.” I responded as I moved past her and made sure to brush my hand along her waist as I passed.

Once I closed the door and disrobed, I stepped into the tub to begin to wash up.The night suddenly had so much possibilities. I had thought of the various things that could happen and that I wanted to happen. But suddenly with the real possibility that it might actually happen tonight, I felt scared. I know the consequences of a relationship like this. What was at stake…Rindy.

With that thought, I knew I had to control my impulses. But why had I asked her to join me on this trip? Wasn’t this the end result that I had wanted? I continued to circle around these thoughts as being intimate with Therese became a real possibility.

Still in the bath, my thoughts then drifted to, well what if it really happened. I have been with Abby before. I have some level of experience being with a woman. But I was by no means an expert. And I knew certainly Therese had never been with a woman. With these thoughts, I grew nervous. What if she didn’t like it? What if I couldn’t pleasure her? What if she changed her mind?

Not only was my custody of Rindy giving me pause but also my nerves of actually being with Therese and disappointing her.

By the time all of these thoughts had slowed in my head, I noticed that I had finished washing and had finished applying lotion.I was about to put on my pyjamas before my hand paused.

Seeing my robe and pyjamas my thoughts go to Therese, but this time, it saw her naked legs. I closed my eyes and willed my self-control, thinking of what was at stake. My hand reached for the pyjamas, but just before I picked them up, my thoughts drift back to Therese’s eyes and her gaze as she shyly blushed. I smiled at the thought and as if with a mind of its own, my hand drifted over to the robe. I had put on the robe…with nothing else underneath.

When I opened the bathroom door, there she was. I caught her eyes briefly in the mirror and offered a smile. Then I turned quickly back to the mirror. I looked at myself. I still looked beautiful, if not a bit older. I ran my hand down my neck, feeling less of the taut and spring that used to be. But then I remembered her eyes. She had looked at me with invitation. She desired me.

I finally decided that it was time to meet her. I turned off the light and walked up behind her while she was still brushing her hair. We picked up our glasses of beer and cheers to the new year and I take a sip from mine before putting it back down again.

My hand trailed up her arm, rested on her shoulder, and we looked at each other in the mirror. I talked about being lonely, although always being around people. She shared that her experience was the same as mine, spending New Years in crowds but really being alone.

As soon as she reached up to grab my hand and looked directly into my eyes through the mirror with such sincerity that she wasn’t alone this year. I felt myself open up. I allowed myself to be vulnerable. For her. With her.

I undid my robe. There was no turning back at this point. I played my hand. It was up to her now, if she wanted me.

The brief pause that felt like an eternity was causing my eyes to glisten, as I wasn’t sure if she would accept what I was offering.

When she finally looked up at me with the same desire that I felt while holding onto my hand, I knew her answer and had leaned in to take her lips.

I wanted to take my time and savour the moment. I wanted to be sure to etch this moment in my mind. Our first kiss.

When she told me to take her to bed…I was still catching my breath. It was actually Therese that was leading us to bed. She didn’t ask, she instructed. And she didn’t follow, but she lead. In that moment, she knew what she wanted more than I did. And because of that, my worries and thoughts had abandoned me.My instincts took over, but I still had the wherewithal to slow it down, to enjoy every moment, every touch, every kiss. She was my angel. Literally flung out of space.She came out of nowhere into my life.

We took our time and spent most of the night making love. Finally exhaustion had taken over and we fell asleep in each other’s arms.

I woke up early today, as I always do.Thankfully I did, so I can write this down and remember this wonderful night. Our first time making love.

************

We finally arrive at Scotty’s and luckily there was a small table for two, a booth, in the back of the restaurant.We take the open table and was seated immediately.

As she’s sitting, Grandma orders even without looking at the menu. “I’ll have the creamed spinach over poached eggs and a dry martini with an olive.”

I decline the offered menu from the waiter as well. “I’ll have the same.”

“Meal or the drink?” The waiter asks.

“All of it. Thank you.”

I give my grandmother a wink. “I guess it is genetics after all!”

She chuckles.“We got lucky dear. Didn’t you say there was never any availability here?”

“Usually there isn’t. We certainly have been lucky with all these sites from the story Grandma.”

Our drinks and meals arrive and we begin to eat.

“So…” I drawl out. “Was it Carol that initiated their first night together?”

She seems to ponder this a bit. She shrugs, “I would say that you are correct my dear. Although I think others may disagree.”

“How does that work? Isn’t it fairly clearcut who made the first move?” I wonder out loud and take a bite of my food.

She takes a sip of her drink. “Well, see…they had started to share rooms together. But that all started because of Therese’s suggestion.”

_We’re back at this again._

I try to make my case once more. “True, but it was Carol that started the flirting and perfume sniffing, so she increased their intimacy.”

She finishes her bite and then continues. “Yes, that’s correct. However, on their first night, Therese had come out of the bathroom with only a robe on and nothing else.”

I pause and consider this for a moment as Grandma eats her meal. “Well…what was Carol wearing at that time?”

At this she pauses eating for a little. “Carol actually hadn’t changed yet. She washed up after Therese was done with the bathroom. However, when she emerged, she followed Therese’s lead and only had her robe on.”

“What happened next? How did they end up in bed? I get it, they both only had their robes. But someone must have gave the first kiss or taken their clothes off or something.” I really think there was an instigator in all of this.

She gives a slight chuckle. “Sweet pea, if you must know, Carol was the one that untied her robe first.”

“HA! I knew it!” I exclaim excitedly since I had guessed right.

She bursts out laughing at my excitement.“Yes yes dear. So Carol was the one that initiated their first time being intimate.”With a mischievous smirk, she adds, “And it was good.”

“Grandma!” I playfully chide.

We proceed to finish our meal and then head back out.It’s late and I decide to take Grandma down Madison Ave for our walk home since it’s a shortcut to my condo.

As we walk down Madison Ave, suddenly, Grandma pauses and looks up at this victorian-looking hotel building. Her eyes start to glisten.

While her attention was occupied, I look to the plaque by the side.These plaques always give some small history about these buildings.Reading the plaque, it looks like the building use to be a residual building but they renovated and changed it into a hotel about 15 years ago. Around 2005 it seems.

I turn to look at my grandmother to see if she is ready to continue. That’s when I notice that a couple of tears had slipped down her cheek.

I put my arm around her and ask softly, “Grandma. Are you ok?”

“Yes…yes,” she answers shakily.“Let’s go back to your home. I’m a little tired from all the walking around today.”

“Of course Grandma. We’re almost there.”


	10. The Aftermath

When we got back last night, Grandma was still very sad and looked quite a bit more tired than normal.

We had decided to call it a night and I had gone to sleep early too.

The sunlight begins to light my living room. It's the weekend, so I wake up slowly, although much earlier than on a normal weekend since I had actually slept early.I look towards the bedroom door. Grandma is still sleeping, at least I assume she is. She hadn’t emerged from my room yet. I always give her my room when she stays with me because the bed is so much more comfortable than this futon. 

_That’s enough walking around for the weekend.Grandma only has the morning with me. We can spend it here._

I can feel that the sites in my grandmother’s story holds a very special spot in her heart.I think that was why she had gotten emotional and so nostalgic, especially when we got to that building on Madison Ave.

_I have eggs, bacon and ham. I’ll wait until she’s up to brew the coffee. She’ll love it!_

I start cooking when I hear my grandmother come out of the room.

“Morning Grandma! How’d you sleep?” I turn to hit the button for the coffee.

“I slept very well, but had to get up when I smelt the delicious food that’s cooking out here.” She winks at me.

“Thank you for letting me stay in your room, sweet pea.” Grandma comes over and gives me a kiss on the cheek.

“I’m glad, Grandma.Take a seat. I’m making us breakfast today.”

“Now this is such a treat dear. I feel so lucky as to be treated by a homemade breakfast from my granddaughter.”

“Here you go Grandma.Have some coffee first and breakfast should be ready soon.” I hand the freshly brewed cup over to her.

She smells the coffee and takes a sip. “Thank you, darling. This coffee is divine!”

I finish our breakfast and divide up the portions.Placing the plates in front of my grandmother, I exaggerate the presentation of the plates with a wave of my hand, like that of a real chef. “Bon Appétit!”

She chuckles and picks up her fork to begin eating.

“What do you think Grandma? Is it good?” I look at her expectantly.

“Sweet pea, I would be concerned if you couldn’t make eggs and bacon being on your own for this long,” she teases.

I laugh.“I’ll take that as a compliment!”

“I’m sorry dear for cutting our excursion short last night.”

“Oh no Grandma. It was getting late anyways and we were out the entire day. Even I was getting tired.”

“I guess that building brought back some memories for me and I was about to get to the part of the story that would lead towards that particular building.”

“What was there? Who lived there?”

“We’ll get to that part soon, sweet pea.” She takes another bite of her breakfast.

“Are you sure no spoilers?” I ask her hopefully.

She laughs, “No. Absolutely not.”

I shrug. “Ok fine. I guess I have no choice.”

“Well, in theory, you do.” Grandma laughs.“You do have a key to the room with our keepsakes and the journals are in there.”

“But it’s not the same Grandma!” I whine.“It’s better to hear it from you.”

She smiles at me and gets serious before starting her story again. "Ok sweet pea. Let's see...So after their first night together, the day started out wonderful.Unfortunately, it was short-lived."

I look at intently at her. Something bad was going to happen. I can feel it coming.

She continues. "That morning, Carol’s best friend had sent a telegram to let her know that they were being followed by a private investigator.”

“Oh no.” I say and I get a feeling that I know where this is going.

My grandmother looks down at her plate and with what I can only describe as remorse in her voice, she continues her story.

“Their first night together was recorded from a room next door. That recording was sent to Carol’s ex-husband as evidence for the custody petition.”

I gasp. “That’s so wrong, Grandma.”

Grandma looks sadly at me. “I know sweet pea…I know.”

************

**Journal Entry:**

What started out as one of the best days that I can remember, rapidly went down hill from there.

The morning was wonderful. I woke up with my arms around this beautiful young woman that had become someone who had invaded my mind and heart so quickly that it was startling.

I can remember and still see in my mind her sleeping form the morning after.It’s something that I will not forget.I had gently withdrawn my arm and slowly gotten out of bed to write in my journal and reflect on the night before.

After completing my journal entry, I made myself a coffee using the room's coffee machine and looked out the window. I wanted to see this city and to get an idea of what Waterloo had to offer. It was very much similar to what you would expect in the mid-West. Flat and barren, especially since we are still in the winter months.

That was when she started to stir. She looked dazzling lying in bed with just a sheet covering her and the natural light coming in and illuminating her form.

She had asked what town we were in. When I told her Waterloo, we laughed at the thought of how such a significant step in our relationship had occurred in “Waterloo”, rather than a nicer or more memorable place.

For me…and I think for her as well…it didn’t matter where it happened. It was a night that I can never forget. The setting didn’t matter, nor the city or town.It was her and what we shared.

I started to pack our things as she was freshening up for the day. 

When we were done packing our luggages, Therese started to load the car and I went to check us out. That’s when I received Abby’s telegram, from the night before, warning me that we were being followed. 

In a wave of anger and panic, I ran out to the car and grabbed the gun that I had packed.I couldn’t see or hear anything as I rushed to the room next to us and pushed through the door.

It was him. Mr. Tucker. The man that we ran into when we first shared a room.I couldn’t believe he had been trailing us this whole time. 

And then I caught sight of the sound recorder.

My heart dropped when I realized that he had recorded what was our most intimate moment and most significant for us. I pointed the gun at him.I wanted to shoot him for his invasion…for his cruelty.

But I couldn’t. So I turned the gun on the recording device and fired. Nothing happened. I knowit was loaded.I tried a couple more times.Still nothing.Figuring that it must have been jammed and frustrated that I couldn't even shoot the damn gun I brought, I just threw the gun at the machine.

I turned to leave the room and called Abby to let her know what had happened and that we had received her telegram...but that it was too late.

I wasn’t sure what I should do.

Therese had started to unravel as well.I could see that this was distressing to her and tried to ease her concerns as best I could.She blamed herself. But it’s not her fault. She gave me a gift, and I had chosen to receive it.

I hoped I eased her concerns that this had nothing to do with her and it was not her fault. But I could see, she was torn…And so was I. 

That night, we made love again. This time, there was a sense of desperateness. As soon as we touched, I knew that I would leave. I had to return to see if I could get Rindy.I couldn’t lose Rindy without a fight. I knew that I couldn’t have Therese in my life if I wanted to have Rindy.

It’ll hurt. I know it will. This loss of Therese. But I can do it. I was able to do it when it was Abby, and it was just Harge. I can do it with Therese. I have to. I can shut down my feelings as long as I can have Rindy. 

I knew that I couldn’t leave if Therese was awake. It would have broken my heart even further, if that was even possible.I would have struggled. So I wrote her a letter. I hope that she could find it in her heart to forgive me and know that she will always live in my memory and my heart.

And of course, I had asked Abby to come to drive her back home.

When I heard Abby’s soft knocking, I went outside the room to talk with her because I didn’t want to wake Therese. Honestly, I didn’t even think about what it would look like to Abby.Now writing this, it must have been hard on Abby. To walk into a hotel room and see another woman in my bed naked.It would be clear what had transpired the night before. But I didn’t have time nor the mental or emotional capacity to be more sensitive about it.

Once again, I’m indebted to Abby. A debt that I doubt I would be able to repay fully in this lifetime.

I explained to Abby my plan. She was of course supportive and comforting.We walked into the room and I grabbed my luggage, giving Abby a hug good-bye. 

I looked over at Therese’s sleeping form. Trying to imprint her in my mind and heart. What she looked like and what she felt like.

I felt a tear slip down my cheek as I turned to walk out the door.By the time the cab dropped me off at the airport to fly back to New York City, I found myself rushing to the restroom and sobbing while waiting to board my flight. 

This had to be one of the most difficult days for me.

************

Grandma and I finish our breakfast and move onto the balcony to sit outside for a bit.

“What happened after they found out about the recording?”

With a heavy sigh, she bows her head and almost apologetically says, “Carol decided to leave. She wanted to make sure that she could get custody of Rindy. She picked her daughter over her own needs.”

“That must have broken her. If she was in love with Therese but had to leave her to fight the custody battle for her daughter.”

“It did.” Grandma says softly.

“How do you reconcile something like that?”

“I think…” Grandma pauses with her brow knitting in thought, “You don’t really reconcile something like that.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, trying to understand what my grandmother means.

“I think that in order to be a wonderful and loving person, not just a mother, you need to be in a good head space. This allows you to have the capacity to focus and care for someone else. I truly feel this way.”

Grandma pauses for a beat. “Carol, although a very loving mother, often drank and smoked. Not that she had a problem. But those vices were likely used to quell a loneliness. Her eyes held a sadness.That was until the day that she brought Therese to her home. That first Sunday.”

“That’s heartbreaking Grandma. Making a choice between your heart and your child. I can’t imagine having to make a choice like that.”

“That loss must have been so hard.” I continue thinking out loud.

Grandma looks at me. “Any loss is difficult, sweet pea. Whether it’s lost love or lost of a loved one.It’s always difficult.”

At this comment, I remember my dad.“Yeah. That’s true Grandma…” Even I become a bit solemn, “I miss Dad.” 

Grandma holds me. “I know sweetheart. I miss him as well. He was a great husband to your mother and a wonderful father to you. But they always live on in our hearts right?”

When Dad passed during his tour in Afghanistan after 9/11 happened, Mom decided to move back to her childhood home in Jersey.

“That’s true Grandma.” I agree softly.

Grandma looks at me. “Darling, I told your mother I would be home this afternoon and we would spend some time in the garden together.We will need to finish the story the next time I see you.It’s almost done anyways.”

I look at my grandmother a little surprised. I had initially thought they would end up together until she told me about her leaving Therese for Rindy. That's when I remembered that Grandma had only said this was a "love at first sight" story. That didn't necessarily mean that they would end up together. 

“You mean it's not done? Does it mean that get together again?"

Hearing that Carol left Therese. I thought that was it. But it seems there may be hope for them after all if Grandma says there's still a bit more to the story.

My grandmother shrugs playfully.

Trying to lighten the mood before my grandmother’s departure. "Grandma, why do you love leaving things at little cliffhangers…can you just give me a spoiler?”

Grandma lightly chuckles. “Next time dear.I promise. We’ll finish this story.”

She kisses me on top of my head.


	11. The Ritz

Right after work, I quickly got home, changed, jumped into bed to get comfortable and pulled out my phone.

_*ring* *ring* *ring*_

“Hello?”

“Grandma? Are you free?”

“Sweet pea.How are you?”

“I need to know. Did they end up together?”

She lightly chuckles. “Ok dear. How much time do you have?”

I couldn’t wait for the next time to see my grandmother. I wanted to know, especially how she had ended it last night.

“As long as you need Grandma!” I settle down further and get myself ready for the story.

I can hear my grandmother chuckle loudly through the phone.

“Don’t you have work tomorrow dear?”

“It’s my first day back.I’m allowed a ‘catch-up’ day.” I brush away her concerns. “I’m all yours Grandma! You promised me an ending!”

“Alright dear.” My grandmother relents, but I can hear the smile in your words.

She takes a breath and starts.“So I believe we ended up with Carol leaving Therese to return to New York and fight for custody of Rindy.”

“Yes.But you said there was more.Did Therese go back to find her?”

“Well, when Carol left, she flew back.That left Therese and her car behind.She had enlisted her best friend to come out to drive Therese back to New York.”

I take a second to process this before responding. “Oh…that must have been so hard on Therese. Not only do you lose this person that you’re in love with, but now you’re doing a road trip with a complete stranger…while heartbroken.”

She agrees. “It was hard for Therese, even though Carol had left a note to say good-bye.”

I shake my head. “Oh Carol. That’s as bad as texting someone to break-up. It’s such bad form.”

“Oh sweetie.How hard would it have been for Carol if she had to face Therese and leave? She wouldn’t have been able to do that.” Grandma sounds sympathetic.

“But Grandma, how could she leave without a proper good-bye.”

“They slept together the night before she left.”

I don’t know if it was just me and knowing my grandmother, but I don’t think she was saying this as a serious rebuttal to my comment.

“Um…” I make a face, even if it’s through the phone. “I don’t think that counts as a proper good-bye Grandma.”

“Dear, I know we’re not on FaceTime, but I can see you making that face of yours.”

“It’s TRUE! That’s definitely not a proper good-bye. But I’m distracting you. Please continue.”

“Carol was unable to face Therese. She was scared and didn’t have the confidence in herself.She felt helpless. In her letter she said that she would do the only that she had the ability to do…she ‘released her.’”

“When Therese got back to New York, did she try to find Carol or reach out to her?”

************

**Journal Entry:**

It had been about a couple of months since I had left Therese in Chicago.

I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her. Was it a mistake? I continue to ask myself that every night for these past couple months. It would happen throughout the day. Anything that reminded me of Therese would conjure up these thoughts and questions.

I think back to Abby. When I had ended it with Abby it was much different. I guess I was hoping this would be similar. But I’ve noticed, that I drink and smoke a little more now. I was able to cut down on these vices when I was on my trip with Therese.

When the phone rang a few minutes ago, I didn’t think anything of it and picked up the receiver.

“Hello…Carol?”

It was Therese’s voice. Those simple words broke me. The pain in her voice, with that little bit of hope. I think in that instant, I knew that what I felt for Therese was nothing like what I felt for Abby, and certainly not for Harge.

This had been why it was so hard these past months. I know that I felt so much more for Therese. I realized now, that I loved her. That I love her.

I was wishing to hear her say my name against my ear like that night in Waterloo. I trailed my finger along my lips, remembering the feel of her lips on mine. 

I closed my eyes, wishing the pain in my heart to go away…and wishing that I wouldn’t do what I was about to.

I slowly reached for the receiver button. I paused hoping that things could be different. When I couldn’t think of any other way out of this, I finally pushed on the button.

I’ve gone to too many psychotherapists and have held out so long. I didn’t want to give up now when I am so close to possibly getting Rindy back. Even if it is costing me everything inside.

I have to keep fighting through it. I only hope it gets better. At the very least, I hope the pain will eventually dull.

************

“Therese did call her.Carol had picked up but couldn’t respond.She was afraid of the consequences.She had already given up so much to give up now and give in to her heart. So she hung up.”

Grandma pauses for a long moment. I hear her swallowing hard before letting out a slow shaky breath.

“That’s so hard Grandma. I feel so bad for the both of them. Carol feeling stuck and unable to reach out. Therese wanting to hold onto Carol, but cannot when Carol has to pull away.”

“It was certainly hard on both women.” Grandma says slowly with her voice trembling.

She pauses for another quick moment and lets out a deep breath before she continues. “On the way to the custody discussion, while in the cab, Carol spots Therese on her way to work. However, this time, she’s gotten a job as a photojournalist at the paper.”

“Oh she got out of Frankenberg’s and became a photojournalist?”

“That’s right.That was her passion and she got in.” I hear my grandmother’s smile in her words.

But something strikes me.I can’t put my finger on it, but there’s something about that bit of information that makes me feel like this should sound familiar.

“Did Carol stop the cab and go after Therese?”

“No. She just watched her walk to work as the cab drove off to the lawyer’s office.”

“Oh that’s too bad. So she missed her opportunity,” I say with disappointment.  
  
“Well not quite.” She corrects my thoughts. “When she was at the lawyer’s office, she had declared that she would live her truth and that she wouldn’t be a good mother if she ‘was living against her own grain.’”

I smiled at this.Grandma’s words came back to me from last night - about being in a good headspace in order to be good to someone else. “So she decided to be true to her feelings.”

“Yes, regardless of the consequences.” My grandmother confirms.

“Did that work out for the custody? Did she lose Rindy?”

“No, she didn’t. She never could lose Rindy.”

I hear my grandmother pause again and sniffle a little bit. I decide to not say anything and to give my grandmother whatever space she needs to gather herself.This is clearly a story that’s very close to her heart.

My grandmother continues after a couple more moments. “She must have gotten through to her ex-husband, but the final arrangement was that Rindy would stay with her father for a while until Carol got settled and then they would share custody.While Rindy was staying with her father, Carol was supposed to get regular visitations.”

“I feel like this was a little bit too easy.Did Rindy’s father actually give Carol visitations?”

“Well…” Grandma pauses once more. This time, it feels like she is trying to work something out or remember something.It is almost as if I can feel the wheels in her head spinning.

“Well visitations with Carol wasn’t very regular.It was actually very sparse for the first year. And Carol had by then somewhat settled into her new job as a buyer for a furniture store, earning an income to support herself and Rindy for when the time came to share custody.”

Furniture store. I don’t know why, but that gets me thinking a little. It reminds me of my grandmother and her interest in interior designing and working with furniture.

“It wasn’t until Rindy had cried and demanded to see her mother more. I think that finally got through to her father. He realized that by keeping Rindy and her mother away from each other, it was really hurting his daughter. That was when he finally relented and eventually kept up his end of the deal.”

Grandma sounds like she’s calculating something. "It must have been 2 or 3 years afterwards when things started to fall into more of a routine.”

“Divorces and custody arrangements are never easy. It’s hard on both parents and of course the children. But people are resilient aren’t they sweet pea?” My grandmother asks me.

“Yes, they certainly are Grandma!”

************

**Journal Entry:**

When Abby told me several nights ago that Therese got a job at the New York Times, I was so happy for her. Thrilled. By then, I knew that I loved Therese and was still in love with her.That’s when I confided in Abby that I should have asked her to “wait” in that letter. I don’t want to release her I’ve realized. I tried these past months. But I don’t think I can. 

And then I saw her on my way to the lawyer’s office this morning. I saw her crossing the street to get to work while I was in my cab. Seeing her before my eyes after so many months sent a reel of all of our moments together through my mind. Going from the first glance that morning in the toy department, to the night that we first made love, and to that night that she tried to call me.

This had fuelled me for my meeting with Harge at the lawyer’s office regarding the custody of Rindy.At that meeting I finally put my foot down. I had to. There was no way that I could be the mother that I needed to be for Rindy if I was miserable inside. Rindy knows when I’m sad and suffering. I can tell. Children are more observant and in tune with people’s feelings than people give them credit for.

And I don’t want to be miserable, sad, or suffering around her. She doesn’t deserve that. She deserves better. Rindy deserved the best version of me. And right now, what I am…I am nowhere near that version that Rindy deserves.

I had to do what was right and I knew that I needed to let Rindy stay with Harge while I settled in. The only caveat was that I wanted regular visitations. I will work that out and I will fight for it. But I would NOT compromise on who I can love. I told Harge to take it or leave it, but that that was it. I would not negotiate anymore and if he decided to leave that offer, we would go to court.

I know we’re not ugly people and I know how much Harge loves Rindy.He will eventually make the right decision for her.I just hope he doesn’t take too long to make the right decisions.

After the lawyer’s meeting, I knew I had to contact Therese and I had to set things right with her.I went to a cafe across the street from The New York Times building and wrote Therese a note to ask her to join me for tea at the Ritz. 

I was hoping that she would come, but at the same time I was bracing myself that she wouldn’t. I told myself that I would stay there until my dinner with my friends, which would have been several hours after the time that I asked Therese to join me.

The time was getting close to when I was supposed to meet Therese at the Ritz. I had gotten there early to make a call. When I came out of the phone booth and saw Therese being seated at our table, my heart leapt. My eyes started to water because I knew this was my chance. She came. She accepted my invitation.

Seeing her in person after all these months had my heart soaring. But I had to calm myself since we were in public and I had no idea what her thoughts were of me. It made me self-conscious. My default had always been to fall back on proper public decorum and exude confidence to mask this anxiety and self-consciousness of mine.

I tried to make small talk and compliment her. I wanted to gauge how she was feeling. When I had no reaction from her, I tried to switch tactics and provide details on my life, at least the more factual and external parts of my life. I didn’t think it proper to go into the emotional toll on me.

It appears that this superficial chatter was not what she was interested in hearing as she continued to be very quiet sipping her tea.

However, in all of her quietness, the one question that rang out was “Have you seen Rindy?” The reason I had left her in Chicago in the first place.

I admitted defeatedly to her that I had only seen her a couple times. I was too out of it to remember to mention that this morning’s meetings may give me more chances to see Rindy.

It looked like a flash of sadness crossed Therese’s eyes, although she appeared to still be stone cold…or perhaps frozen is a better description.

I felt I had to change subjects. I could feel myself getting emotional once Rindy came up and also how it had linked itself to Therese as well. So I told her about my apartment on Madison Ave. and how it was big enough for two. She immediately understood the implication and looked at me stunned.

I should have expected her response. I left her with nothing but a note. So when she said “no”, it hurt, but I expected it, even if I was hopeful.

Taking in a shaky breath and not willing to give up so easily I try again. I told her I was meeting some friends at the Oak Room and invited her to join. Pleading with her through my eyes. When she declined that again. I had nothing else. I didn’t have anything else to invite her to.

I kept looking into her eyes, hoping there would be a change. But when I saw that she was resolute in her decision, on the brink of tears, I suddenly blurt out “I love you”. I said that on instinct and without thought. Also I think a part of me felt that if I didn’t say it in that moment, then she may never know if she were to walk out of my life forever.

Of course right when she was about to respond, her friend interrupts us.From their conversation I understood that there was a party. She seemed reluctant to end our meeting, but at this point, I had nothing left to offer her and did not want to cry in front of people either.

With what shred of dignity that I had left, I got up and left that table.

Before leaving Therese with her friend, once again, being drawn to her like a magnet, and feeling like I will never get to do this again, I placed my hand on her shoulder. I let it linger for a slight moment, before I gave it a quick squeeze. It was my way of saying everything I wanted to at once. I love you. I’m sorry. I miss you. I want you.

When I left, I had nowhere to go. I had to go to my car and inside the protection of the vehicle, I cried. I figured she wouldn’t come to the Oak Room and that that tea would be the last time that I would ever see her. Worst of all, this was all my fault.

That’s why I was shocked when our eyes locked in the Oak Room. I had given up hope by that time.But when we locked eyes I knew. I knew that she had decided to stay in my life. 

How all of this will work out, I don’t know. But at least I know this is her way of saying yes, to whatever it was that I was offering. Whatever she is agreeing to, I would be happy to take.We will work out the rest. In this moment, I will just celebrate her being in my life once more.

************

“After the meeting at the lawyers, Carol went to a nearby cafe and wrote a note to Therese to ask her to tea at the Ritz.”

“How did she know where to send it to?” I ask.

“Well, Carol’s best friend found out where her new job was and told Carol. After she wrote her note, she dropped it off to be delivered to Therese.”

“Did Therese go to meet Carol?”

“She did,” Grandma says with happiness in her voice.

“How was that conversation? What did Carol say to her?”

“Well Carol started off with complementing her on how much she had matured and how she looked very fine.”

“Mmhmm…good start.”

“And she gave a brief update on her divorce and custody proceedings.”

“Oh…how did Therese take that?” I ask curiously.

“Well she was quiet throughout the whole conversation, other than to ask if Carol had seen Rindy.”

“You can tell that Therese still cares. If she was quiet throughout and her only question was about Rindy…she knew how important Rindy was to Carol.”

I can hear my grandmother nodding on the other end of the line. “That she did.”

Grandma continues, “And Carol told her that she was moving to her own apartment and that it was big enough for two.” And she pauses.

“Grandma…don’t tell she just asks Therese to live with her.”

“That she did,” she confirms.

“What was Therese’s response?”

“Well she said… ‘I don’t think so.’”

“That makes total sense. You can’t expect to leave someone and then the next time see them to ask them to move in with you. Very unrealistic.”

“…Initially.” Grandma punctuates after my outburst.

“Wait what? I feel like I’m constantly surprised by these two…and they lived in the ’50’s and I live…well now.”

She chuckles.“Therese had actually left Carol at the Ritz to attend a little party she had.She was approached by another woman while she was at the party. This had caused her to re-evaluate Carol’s offer and her feelings for Carol.”

“But she must have been devastated when Carol left her and didn’t even receive her attempts to communicate.”

“Well that’s a little of the ‘love at first sight’ don’t you think, sweet pea? Their romance was very much out of the ordinary. They didn’t really go through a long drawn-out courting phase.It all happened very quickly.”

I map out what happened to the women and had to agree. Drawing out a timeline for them, it was:

  1. Met at the department store and forgot gloves.
  2. Gloves returned and called to give thanks.
  3. Met for a “Thank you” lunch.
  4. Met on a Sunday.
  5. Met the Monday night after how Sunday ended so badly and agreed on the trip.
  6. Started the trip.
  7. Got intimate on the trip.



“Ok, I’ll buy it, Grandma. You did promise me a ‘love at first sight’ story. All of this happened in the span of really a couple of weeks. So considering a few months have passed, feelings were likely still there. This offer to move in almost makes sense for them.”

“And that’s that.” Grandma concludes. “Does it give you a little more hope about love at first sight and romance, sweet pea?”

“Truthfully Grandma, it’s a little hard.”

“Why?” My grandmother seems a bit disappointed that I am not hopeful in the romance department.

“Well, it sounds like a movie. I don’t actually know anyone that this has happened to. Although I get a feeling you’re basing this on someone’s journals, but it does feel a little far removed.”

Grandma goes silent on the other end.

“Want to come with your mom and I next weekend sweet pea? I’d like to stop by the Freedom Tower in the city.”

“Sure. What time are you thinking of?”

“Let’s meet there at 6:30 AM, Saturday?”

“So early? I guess you want to beat the crowd?”

“Yes. I think it’s nice to be there for sunrise."

I smile into my phone. “I would love to accompany you both, Grandma.”


	12. The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading my story. I hope you enjoyed the journey. Hopefully another bout of inspiration strikes again. If not, I’m sure I’ll see many of you in the comments section of other wonderful stories in this particular fandom! Til then, stay safe and take care!

Reaching out with a big yawn, I check my phone.

“ **Sept 11, 20215:30AM** ”

I linger for a few more minutes before pushing up to get ready.I tend to like to sleep in on weekends, but I told Grandma that I would meet her and mom today at the Freedom Tower at 6:30AM sharp early in the morning. It usually got so crazy on this day that to beat the rush we had to go extra early.

I go through my morning ritual, get dress and hop in an Uber to get to the Freedom Tower.

When I arrive and step out of the car, I look around for my grandmother. There are few people there already but I immediately spot her, although I don’t see my mom.

She’s standing right by the memorial with all the names of the people that had died as a result of the 9/11 attacks.

I jog up to her. “Hi Grandma.” 

I give her a hug.She takes one hand and holds onto my arms. With her other hand she lightly grazes it along the memorial with all the names of those lost at the Twin Towers on that terrible day.

I look down at where her hand lay.

“Therese Belivet …” I read out loud.

And then the next name her hand crosses is…“Carol Aird.” I read.

Seeing Aird, I realize, this is probably my great grandmother.

“Grandma…Is this great grandma Carol?” I confirm.

“Yes sweat pea."

_Therese Belivet._

I recognize that name from the story. The person with the same name as me. Realization finally hits me.

“Grandma, are they the two women from the story?”

She nods and looks up at me with tears in her eyes.

“Why haven’t I heard of this before?”

“I think when it happened…when we lost them…you were only about one. Then later, it was still too painful to recount their story because we still miss them terribly.Their loss was just so sudden and unexpected.”

Grandma turns around and takes me in a hug. “It didn’t come up until you brought up wanting to know if ‘love at first sight’ happens.”

I return my grandmother’s hug with a hug of my own. “Is this the first time that you’re here?”

“No, your mother and I have come here for the past few years off and on.I believe it opened in 2011. We found it was much too crowded going at regular hours.”

Grandma looks lovingly at the names before her, before laying her hand back on the memorial and along both Carol’s and Therese’s names.

My grandmother continues to explain. “A couple years ago we found that just before sunrise was the perfect time. We’ve been coming here on this day ever since and sometimes on their birthdays. You were not home for those times and were just so busy with work. So we haven’t had a chance to go with you until now, when September 11th landed on a Saturday.”

Her hand drifts over the name Carol Aird. “Carol was my biological mother.”

Then her eyes and fingers shift over to the name Therese Belivet. “But Therese was also my mother.And your…”

Grandma pointed at me. “…mother loved both very much. In fact, she spent so much time with Therese, learning how to take photographs, eventually she became a photojournalist just like her.”

She turns to me and cups my cheek in her hand. “That’s why when you were born, it was your mother’s opportunity to honour your great grandmother Therese the best she could. She decided to name you ‘Therese.'”

Grandma fixes my hair as the wind blows some of the strands over my face. “I’m so glad that both of them at least got to see you and spend what little time we didn’t know they had with you.”

“Grandma, so you were Rindy in the story? Was that what great grandma use to call you? I didn’t realize you had a nickname.”

“Yes.” Grandma confirms. “Everyone called me Rindy when I was younger. Nerinda when I got in trouble. And now just Mom and Grandma. Although…your great grandmother use to also call me ‘sweet pea.’"

I chuckle at this. “So THAT’S where it came from.”

Grandma’s eyes twinkle playfully. “Yes THAT’S where it came from, darling.”

I look back at their names on the memorial. “They went through so much to be together. I’m glad it worked out for them.”

“It certainly did.” She smiles with a bit of nostalgia. “And that was your great grandmothers’ whirlwind love story.”

Another realization hits me. “Oh and was Aunt Abby’s Great Grandma Carol’s best friend in the story? She was your Godmother and we spent so much time with her when she was alive.”

“Yes. They had known each other since they were 10.”

And curious, I ask my grandmother, “So what were they doing in the Twin Towers that morning?”

She looked at what were now the memorial pools, where the Twin Towers use to stand. "They were visiting their friend, Fred, who had an office in the building that morning.They also wanted a referral to a real estate attorney since they were selling their apartment on Madison to get a new place.”

We look on with thoughts of everyone that was lost. Grandma says, “That day, along with so many others…they did not make it out.”

That’s when I remembered. The Madison Ave building that we had stopped by last weekend. It completed its transformation into a hotel in 2005.

“Grandma, that hotel on Madison Ave. Was that the apartment that my great grandmothers lived in?”

Grandma nods. “We had to move all the stuff out in early 2002 so they can begin renovations and be up and running by 2005.That was why it was emotional for me when we walked by there last weekend.”

“There you two are.” My mom calls out as she arrives with coffees for everyone.

“Hi Mom.Grandma was just showing me Great Grandmother Carol’s and Therese’s name on the memorial plaques.”

“It’s Great Grandmother Therese, sweetie.I always called them Grandma Carol and Grandma Therese.”

After handing out the coffees, my mom looks at me and says, “You know, I picked up the camera because of your Great Grandma Therese.”

It struck me then, the camera that my mom gave me for Christmas. “Mom, the camera that you gave me…was that hers?”

“Yes Sweetheart. She would have wanted me to pass it down to you.You should use it sometime, when you take photos.It still works amazing. You’ll just need to develop the film though. There’s not a lot of those options available…”

Mom pauses and looks at me thoughtfully as she thinks of something. “…Or I can show you how to develop your own film.”

“I’d love that Mom.” 

Another realization occurs to me then as well…the gloves. Mom must have accidentally done something to the gloves that great grandma Carol left behind on the toy department’s counter.That’s why she felt so terrible.

I feel like a tsunami of realization is flooding in since now I’m associating all of the events in the story to what I know now and our family.

The Easy Living Record that we had was from then as well.And the train set in the study must have been Grandma’s.

Grandma interrupts my thoughts. “And the room in the basement that you can now access with that key that I gave you at Christmas, it holds all the photos that your great grandmother Therese took of your great grandmother Carol. Along with all of the journals that I was referencing. If you’d like to know your great grandmother a little better, feel free to go in there to read the journals sweet pea.”

I debate with myself if I should ask, but I am curious and decide to ask anyways. “Did you ever resent her for the divorce and choosing Therese to share a life with?”

Grandma gives a thoughtful look before answering.

“Truthfully, I was too young and had no preconceived biases. I never resented her and in fact felt lucky.”

Grandma smiles as she begins to pull out the memories and feelings from her past, “I just know that I had three people that cared very much for me, a father and two mothers. They had eventually worked out their issues with each other and I was able to see everyone fairly equally.”

“They never bad mouthed each other either, so I grew up quite happy. I don’t know if my experience would have been the same if I were older. But I felt very lucky for what I had.” In that instance, I could see that Grandma is grateful and truly happy for her childhood and the people that she had in her life.

I look sadly again at their names. “I wish I could have known them,” I say softly.

“Me too.” My grandmother says.

“Me three.” My mom adds.

Grandma takes my hands and says, “I know that one day you will find a love like that of theirs. And I hope that their story gives you a little bit of hope as well, sweet pea.”

In that moment, out of the corner of my eye, I notice a woman walking by. She has headphones on and a ton of stuff in her arms. Suddenly she loses her balance of the stuff in her arms and everything topples over. I rush over to help her pick up the contents.

She looks up and smiles at me. That’s when I notice how stunning and captivating her eyes are. 

“Thank you,” the woman says in what is a very warm and welcoming voice.

“Yeah. No problem.” I respond, suddenly feeling a little nervous being on the other end of the woman’s focus.

I hold her gaze for a second. This is certainly unexpected and I feel a very weird sensation. She looks at her phone and sees the time. She gives me another quick thank you and dazzling smile before rushing off towards one of the office buildings.

I return to my grandmother and mom. 

We lay down the flowers. I see a tear roll down Grandma’s face as she brushes her fingers along her mother’s name, Carol, and her other mother’s name, Therese. 

“I’ll see you both again next year.” Grandma says out loud.

The sun starts to rise and we start seeing more people arrive.

“Moms, your lives are now stretched out ahead.I hope both of you enjoy your perpetual sunrise.” Grandma says softly as she turns to my mom and I.

As the sun continues rising, I notice something shiny in the area where I had helped that woman earlier. I walk towards it to see what it is. It is a business card holder.I look inside at the name and contact information on the cards.

I’ll give her a call to return it.

Funny enough, her name is Carol. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I figured with Grandma’s last request to join her at the Freedom Tower, it might give away too much, so I threw out the last chapter as well with the update. :) 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed the story. 
> 
> This is in fact set between Christmas Eve 2020 and ends on September 11, 2021. 
> 
> This was vaguely my ages for the characters. 
> 
> Young Therese is 23 years old.  
> Mom is 49 years old.  
> Rindy is 74 years old.  
> Carol would have died at 80 years old and Therese would have died at 69 years old when 9/11 happened in 2001.


End file.
